An Epic Romantic Tale Between Harry and Ginny
by Egaads
Summary: Harry and Ginny are finally dating! But then Ginny gets conked on the head! And then something happens to her, which Harry tries to fix! However, he just makes things worse... Please RR!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me.

Harry Potter was head-over-heels in love with Ginny. He was completely obsessed with her. He loved her hair that was the color of rust and how she was funnier than an elephant in a tutu. He was absolutely infatuated! He wanted to hold her till he strangled her and snog her till she turned blue in the face.

Harry looked out the window from his dormitory room and thought about beautiful, clever Ginny. What WAS it that he liked about her? Was it because going out with her made him feel like he was dating a female version of Ron? Or was it because she reminded him of his mom? Harry didn't know. All he knew was that he loved her. He wondered if he should ask her to go to Hogsmeade with him today. That would make him happy. Then he could look into her sparkling eyes again and stare dreamily until she blushed and punched him in the face. That would make him _very_ happy. Harry made up his mind to ask her on a date.

Ginny sat in the common room and wondered where her boyfriend, Harry was. She liked Harry. She liked him a lot. She loved his eyes that were as green as a fresh-pickled toad, and his hair the color of a blackboard, but she didn't really know what she saw in him. Was it because he was famous? Ginny remembered when she was in her fourth year and Harry was in his fifth. Harry had acted like a PMS-ing woman. He had thrashed about, complaining and yelling and shouting and feeling betrayed. Ginny hated when her darling Harry was like that. Then he lost Sirius and had looked like a lost little boy. Ginny felt like mothering him. Except at that moment Ginny decided she didn't really want to see Harry because Peeves suddenly zoomed him and dropped a vase on her head. She went unconscious. A few seconds later, she woke up and had no memory about Harry for some reason.

_Who's Harry, _she thought. _Why am I thinking about that name? I never liked the name Harry. It sounds like the name of a perverted old man. I think I should think of the name Colin. Colin is such a pretty name for a boy. I especially like the name Creevey. It reminds me of creeks. I like creeks. Creeks make me feel calm. I feel calm. _

Just then, Harry came bouncing downstairs, looking forward to the potential date. Except he didn't know Ginny had just randomly gotten amnesia, so he walked up to his darling. She was staring at the wall with a dazed expression. Harry thought that dazed expression was really cute so he decided to surprise her with a kiss. He gave her a HUGE, JUICY SMACK on her cheek. Saliva dribbled down her face. She turned and stared at him. He was returned with a SMACK as well. Except this time, it was a slap. Harry stared at her, shocked.

"Who are you and who gave you permission to do that?" demanded Ginny angrily.

"Ginny is something the matter?" inquired Harry with a worried frown. But he didn't really mean it. His face hurt a lot. He wanted to slap her back except that would be like slapping Ron or his mother. So he kept his hands at his sides.

"Who are you? Tell me or I'll Jinx you!" snapped Ginny.

Harry grinned. Of course. Ginny was at her little antics again. He decided to play along.

"I'm Harry Potter the Chosen One of course!" He guffawed, slapping his thighs at his excellent joke.

"Harry Potter? I hate that name! You're a perverted old man at heart aren't you? Even your last name is dirty! You toilet potty Potter!" cried Ginny angrily. She was still grossed out by that juicy kiss he had given her.

Harry laughed uncertainly. This joke was starting to get lame. He hated when people made fun of his name.

"Er… Ginny, I was wondering… d'you wanna go to Hogsmeade with me today?" asked Harry, changing the subject.

"No way!" exclaimed Ginny. His eyes that was as green as a fresh-pickled toad and his hair that was as black as a chalkboard annoyed her. He just wasn't her type. She decided that she preferred small, adorable looking boys with big eyes and high voices. Harry (ew gross name) just did not fit that type.

Harry looked at her in surprise. The joke was starting to annoy him.

"Cut it out Ginny. Come on, let's go," he said in that nicest tone possible. He tried to drag her to her feet. Big mistake. There was a third, louder SMACK, and it wasn't a kiss either. Harry rubbed his doubly sore face, but his face wasn't as sore as his heart was. He had loved Ginny with all his heart and soul, and here she was, playing with him! The horror of it! He felt as though he was getting torn in half like a breadstick, and he was as empty as a Budweiser on New Year's. Everyone had left him. He had no one left in this cold, dark, and cruel world. Despair settled down upon him like dandruff. Harry drooped like a defrosted flower.

"If this is how you want it Ginny," sighed Harry. He half-turned to go, hoping that her voice, like the sweet sound of a broom speeding through air, would call him back and apologize. Then they would kiss and make-up.

"Yes it is! Now leave me alone you freaky lecher! Bloody! I hate guys like you!" hollered Ginny, her formerly cute freckles standing out on her white face like huge blotches. She turned to him, and pulled her wand out. "Leave. Now." She looked him in the eye, threateningly. Harry realized she was not in jest. He nearly dissolved into a puddle of heartbreak. This time, he fully turned around and walked away, his feet shuffling on the floor like a pack of cards and his shoulder hunched over like the bell-ringer of Notre Dame. Utterly wretched!

Ginny however, just sat there and wondered who that loser was. She did not know that he was the object she had so recently idolized and loved. Ginny felt hungry. She got up and left the common room.

Harry was sobbing into Hermione's shoulder next to the Great Lake. Ron sat by looking jealous but he didn't say anything. He was too angry at Ginny. Ginny was dead meat.

"It's alright Harry, it's alright," spoke Hermione, soothingly. Harry's sobs resided, but he was still feeling very sad.

"I don't know what happened," hiccupped Harry, "I just went down to the common room to ask her to go to Hogsmeade with me except she slapped me twice!"

"That scarlet woman!" scowled Ron. He clenched his fists until they turned white. Ginny was his SISTER and she wasn't supposed to _do_ stuff like this! "I'm going to have a talk with her!"

"Ron, don't be so rash. I'll go talk with Ginny and see what's going on," said Hermione. She dumped Harry's tearstained and snot stained face onto Ron's shoulder and got up. She headed back into the castle, leaving Harry in Ron's presence.Harry felt a bit soothed. Ron reminded him of Ginny, except he smelled like skunk underwear. The two best friends sat there and waited for Hemione's return, and possibly, Ginny's.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Er…Ginny, could I speak to you for a moment?" asked Hermione. Ginny was sitting in the Great Hall eating breakfast with her usual friends clustered around her.

"Sure, Hermione!" smiled Ginny. She liked Hermione a lot. Hermione was her friend, and she hoped Ron would marry Hermione. Ginny grabbed a piece of toast and followed Hermione out of the Great Hall.

"Um… Ginny… I heard you broke up with Harry today," said Hermione, tentatively. She hoped Ginny would not fly into one of her Mrs. Weasley-like rages.

"Harry? Who's Harry?" Ginny gave Hermione a blank look.

"Your boyfriend…" Hermione wondered what Ginny was up to. Was she joking or something? Maybe someone had bewitched her! Who would do such a thing? Hermione knew Dean held a grudge against Harry because he was Ginny's ex, but Hermione doubted that Dean was talented enough to perform such a spell. Maybe Ginny accidentally muttered the Oblivius spell while she was in the bathroom and the spell bounced off the mirror and hit her. That would account for her forgetting Harry, but it certainly was odd that she did not seem to forget anyone else.

"Boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend! Dean and I broke up last year!" laughed Ginny. Hermione was really weird right now. Ginny wondered what she was up to.

"Doesn't Harry Potter ring a bell?" questioned Hermione, "You know, green eyes? Black hair? Orphan? The Chosen One? Hated by Lord Voldemort?"

"OH! You mean THAT guy!" Ginny scowled at the memory of her last meeting with Harry. "That pervert guy… Did you know he had the audacity to kiss me on the cheek this morning? I mean I don't even know that guy. And then he tries to drag me to Hogsmeade! He should be expelled from Hogwarts. Girls are in potential danger with _him_ around!"

Hermione seriously doubted Ginny's sanity at that moment. She had never heard Harry described in such away. Hermione decided to take Ginny to the hospital wing.

"Ginny, come with me for a moment. I have something to show you," said Hermione suddenly. She didn't tell Ginny that they were going to the hospital wing because Ginny, with her mental state so fragile, could possibly erupt and go berserk any moment.

"Alright…" Ginny followed Hermione with a confused expression on her face. Hermione was acting really odd. Ginny wondered if Hermione was under a spell, but who would do such a thing? One moment Ginny was talking about that pervert Harry, and the next, Hermione was acting all strange around her and wanting to show her something. Also, Hermione had asked about a boyfriend. Maybe Hermione was a lesbian! But that could not be possible. Hermione _had_ to end up with Ron! Otherwise nothing would be perfect! If Hermione did not end up with Ron, then she would go crazy and probably date Harry. She hoped that would not happen and trudged after Hermione.

"Here we are!" exclaimed Hermione. She stopped in front of the Hospital Wing.

"Hermione, what are we doing here?" asked Ginny with a bewildered expression on her face. "This is the hospital wing! Has something happened? Is Ron in there? Are you injured?"

"Well, someone's injured for sure and it isn't me or Ron," replied Hermione vaguely.

"Oh, well who?" wondered Ginny.

"We'll find out soon enough." With that, Hermione pushed Ginny into the Hospital Wing and steered her into Madame Pomfrey's office.

"Madame Pomfrey!" cried Hermione to a large white figure bent over one of the beds, "Someone's injured!"

Madame Pomfrey turned from the person she was caring for, who turned out to be Colin Creevey. Evidently, he had gotten injured while stalking Harry during Quidditch practice. Colin had idiotically climbed onto a broom himself and zoomed after Harry all over the Quidditch field with his camera clicking madly away. That's when he had gotten hit over the head with a Bludger. His body was badly injured.

"Who?" demanded Madame Pomfrey, looked back and forth between Hermione and Ginny. They both looked fine to her.

"It's Ginny Madame Pomfrey!" cried Hermione passionately. Ginny stared at Hermione in shock.

"No!" declared Ginny loudly, "It's Hermione! She's been acting weird all day!"

"Well _she_ has amnesia!" yelled Hermione, pointing at Ginny.

"Well _she's_ gotten mistaken-facts syndrome!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"STOP!" boomed Madame Pomfrey's voice. "Both of you, QUIET! This is a hospital wing! Now, why don't both of you calm down and tell me what's going on?"

"Well see--" began Hermione and Ginny at the same time. They both stopped.

"Er… I think Ginny has amnesia," said Hermione.

"I think Hermione's not herself," countered Ginny.

"What's your evidence?" inquired Madame Pomfrey.

"Ginny forgot that Harry Potter is her boyfriend," answered Hemione.

"Harry was never my boyfriend, and Hermione keeps thinking she is!" objected Ginny. Madame Pomfrey did not know anything about her students, so she didn't know who to believe.

"Both of you, stay here," said Madame Pomfrey, and she decided to send for Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter. Hermione and Ginny glared at each other as they stood waiting next to Colin Creevey's bed.

"Ron! Harry!" said Luna Lovegood. She had suddenly popped up next to the grieving couple. She looked dreamily at them. "Hit by a snorglaspork I suppose? Father always said the best remedy was to catch a glookabook and to place it on both eyes. I suppose that would stop the snorglaspork droppings from dripping from your eyes, Harry."

"Er… yea," said Ron. Harry brushed the hot tears away from his face and looked at Luna.

"What d'you want Luna?" asked Harry through his tearstained face.

"Madame Pomfrey asked me to give you this note," she said.

"Oh, thanks, Luna," said Harry. He unrolled the parchment.

"Ron! We have to go to the hospital wing! I wonder what's happened!" exclaimed Harry. Both of them got up and ran toward the castle, leaving Luna to stare serenely into the Great Lake.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.

Chapter 3

"Madame Pomfrey! Madame Pomfrey! What's wrong?" cried Harry, bursting into the hospital wing with Ron close behind him. Madame Pomfrey glared at them and made a loud shh-ing sound. She was leaning over Colin again and had forgotten what she had called the two boys in for.

"Ginny! Hermione! What's happened?" yelled Harry in distress, heedless of Madame Pomfrey's warning.

"Oh, it's you pervert…" said Ginny coolly.

"Harry! I think Ginny has amnesia!" replied Hermione.

"Amnesia?" exclaimed Ron, "Is that that one thing where you get hit in the head and forget everything?"

"Actually, it's a loss or impairment of memory resulting from shock, psychological disturbance, head injury, or illness," explained Hermione.

"Oh," said Ron, "Ginny, have you been hit in the head lately?"

"Come to think of it," began Ginny, "But my head kinda hurts-- not that I have amnesia or anything. I know perfectly well that you are my father." Ron stared wide-eyed at Ginny.

"Just kidding!" she laughed.

"Well, that proves she's normal," remarked Hermione. Harry just stared at Ginny, devastated. Out of all the people in the whole entire world, why did she have to forget him?

"No she's not, she doesn't remember me, remember?" put in Harry loudly.

"Why would I remember you? I don't even know you," scowled Ginny in Harry's direction. She hated that guy! He was more ugly than a Blast-ended Skrewt and had the personality of a Flobberworm. Ginny really wanted to kick himdown a Basilisk's stomach at that moment! He was absolutely revolting! Besides, his glasses were totally lame. Who the heck wore circular black glasses? He looked like a total geek and was probably not as smart as one. This Harry-person was obviously a lowlife Grade Z loser that only followed Ron around because Ron was her brother. Harry was probably only using Ron to get close to her. Her scowl magnified.

"Anyway, back to your head hurting?" reminded Hermione, trying to stop Ginny from saying any more hurtful words that would squish Harry's brittle heart.

"Oh yea, there's this huge bump right here," said Ginny, pointing to the top of her head, "But I'm sure I don't have amnesia. I'm not feeling any different. I think you probably have a bump on your head too."

"No I don't," replied Hermione, "If you must know, I'm quite clear on where I've been at every minute of the day and what I have been doing. I know as a fact that I have not been hit on the head or gotten in a bad way with a spell."

"How would you know?" challenged Ginny, "Maybe all of you have amnesia and I'm the only normal one. Maybe all of you got your memories modified, because what kind of freak remembers what they do every minute of the day?" Hermione scowled at Ginny. She was starting to hate that girl with her gold-red hair and her cute freckles and her pretty lips and adorable eyes and porcelain skin.

"Blimey!" exclaimed Ron, "But I've never thought of that!" He began to question his sanity. Maybe Ginny _was_ the only normal one. Maybe they were all crazy. Maybe his memories weren't really his or were actually made up. Maybe none of them were who they thought they really were. Maybe they were actually Death Eaters! Maybe he was actually Lord Voldemort and had drunk a permanent Polyjuice Potion and then got his memory modified! Except that was preposterous. He was Ron, right? RIGHT? And Harry was Harry right? And Hermione was a girl right? And Ginny was his sister right? And he was a wizard and not a muggle right? Maybe they were all in a huge conspiracy against him! Maybe this world didn't truly exist and everyone in the entire school were Boggarts and maybe everyone was just playing one massive prank on him and he was actually a Boggart too except he had been the one who had gotten singled out and victimized! Maybe this was all just one huge experiment! All this thinking was starting to hurt Ron's tender brain… _brain _BRAIN! Brains had attacked him in his fifth year! Maybe somehow, those gruesome objects had modified his memory! Ron decided to stop thinking now. He was utterly confused.

Harry just looked at Ginny and remembered what he had seen in Dumbledore's Pensieve. He had found out that people were capable at modifying memories. Voldemort had been able to modify memories, and Professor Slughorn had been able to blot out a part of his. Maybe Voldemort had been able to access Harry's memory by utilizing the bond between them. Perhaps Voldemort _had_ toyed with his memory, but what could Voldemort gain? Maybe Voldemort had another motive and Harry was just playing into his hands…

"What do you want?" demanded Madame Pomfrey of Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. Ron started. Madame Pomfrey was getting amnesia! Maybe it was a spell or they were just messing with him!

"Er… Madame Pomfrey, we were trying to settle whether Ginny has amnesia or if I'm wrong in my head," explained Hermione.

"Oh, yes," remembered Madame Pomfrey, "Well, Ginny, are you absolutely certain that this boy over here is not your boyfriend?" She pointed at Harry.

"Yes," replied Ginny firmly.

"And are you absolutely certain that this boy is Ginny's boyfriend?" Madame Pomfrey asked Hermione.

"Yes," answered Hermione, trying to sound even firmer. Madame Pomfrey turned to Ron and Harry.

"Mr. Weasley, has Mr. Potter ever dated Miss Weasley?" Madame Pomfrey was starting to sound like a lawyer, but Ron and Ginny didn't know that. They didn't know what lawyers were.

"Weeelll… if my memory is correct," said Ron, ambiguously.

"Is that a yes or a no?" questioned Madame Pomfrey.

"Er…" Ron didn't know what to say. He didn't want to look like a gullible fool if everyone really was playing a trick on him and secretly laughing inside that he had gobbled up his implanted memories. Then again, they might not be playing a trick on him, and perhaps he should answer based on his possibly not-fabricated memories.

"Maybe you should ask Harry that," Ron said finally.

"Yes," said Harry firmly. Even if his memories were modified, he still liked Ginny.

Madame Pomfrey was faced with a tough decision. Two had said yes for sure, but one of them was possibly wrong in the head. One had said no for sure, but she was possibly wrong in the head as well. Another one wasn't sure what to say. She considered the neutral one. Weasley was probably not sure what to say because his sister and his best friend were against each other (actually, one of them wanted to be against and the other one wanted to be together but since they both disagreed she was counting them as against) and she herself wasn't sure what to do. It all rested on Mr. Weasley then.

"Mr. Weasley, I will repeat myself. Was that a yes or a no?" demanded Madame Pomfrey. Ron was still standing there looking gormless. She was pressing him for answers! He did not want to agree with his potentially fake memories because he would be denying his true existence, but then again, he wasn't really sure if the fake memories existed anyway. He was baffling himself.

"Er… I don't know," he said. Harry glared at Ron. Ginny glared at Ron as well.

"Mr. Weasley, how could you not know? Miss Weasley has been your sister ever since she was born and Mr. Potter has been your best friend since both of you came to this school!" cried Madame Pomfrey. She was sick and tired of this, and Colin Creevey was starting to moan in his bed again. She wanted to quickly discover who was addled in the brains, but in her opinion, Mr. Weasley seemed to be the most plausible suspect.

"I don't know," said Ron again. He was starting to feel sweaty. Madame Pomfrey was trying to pressure him into answering the question! Which meant that she could possibly be in on the conspiracy aiming to make him make a fool of himself or make him believe in his false memories! She was trying to get him to answer the question to make sure that he believed all of the fake memories! Or she could have another motive. Ron was torn with indecision. Suppose his memories WERE real. Should he side with his friend, or Ginny? He would know both of them for the rest of their lives, but wouldn't Harry's life be shorter? You-know-who WAS after him, but suppose Harry didn't get killed. Then Harry would hold a grudge against him for the rest of his life. Also, Ginny needed to be cured. Then, Harry could marry Ginny and they could be brothers and become one big happy family! But suppose Ginny could not be cured! Then he would get old with a sister who hated him and who had the ability to make his life miserable! Or, this could just all be based on his possibly modified memory. Ron stood there and thought… and thought…

Hermione noticed how flustered Ron looked. His ears were a deep crimson, and his face was extremely pale. Also, he was sweating profusely.

"Madame Pomfrey, please, I know as a fact that I am the correct one. When have I ever been wrong?" pleaded Hermione.

"Madame Pomfrey, Hermione could be cursed so she wouldn't even know she's wrong!" said Ginny.

"Madame Pomfrey, I'm positive that Ginny was my girlfriend even though she's denying it right now, but she could have amnesia!" cried Harry.

"Madame Pomfrey, my mate Harry should be right but my sister Ginny could be right too!" said Ron, helpfully. Madame Pomfrey was inclined to believe that Ginny had dated Harry, but how could she make Ginny go through a huge, complicated ordeal to be cured, only to find that she was perfectly sane? Colin groaned loudly from his bed. Madame Pomfrey thought furiously.

"All of you, go to the Headmaster's office right now and settle this! This is a Hospital Wing! You are disturbing my patients!" she boomed loudly. They scuffled out, arguing amongst them. She felt like chasing those annoying varmints with a broom, but she settled with slamming the door behind them. The rest of her patients woke up.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The four arguing Hogwarts students headed toward the ugly gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office. They stopped next to it.

"Do any of you know the password?" asked Harry.

"Nope," the rest replied simultaneously.

"Then how are we going to get in?" questioned Harry. No one replied. They just stared at the gargoyle.

"Desperate times require desperate measures," stated Harry. He pulled out his wand. He needed to get Ginny help fast! His entire love life was at stake! If it took blasting the Headmaster's office apart, then so be it! He raised his wand and was about to yell "REDUCTO!" when Ginny suddenly spun around and walked away.

"This is stupid. I'm missing out on Hogsmeade," she yawned.

"Wait!" cried Harry desperately, "Come back Ginny-wobbles darling!" Ginny gave him a nasty look along with an obscene hand gesture and continued on her way. Harry felt like crying again. The old Ginny would never do that to him! He crouched down and stared at the marble tiling. Ginny had shattered his spirit as if he was nothing more than a booger in her nose.

"Maybe," said Ron hesitantly (he was still kind of paranoid), "we could feed her a love potion and get her to fall in love with you all over again."

"NO WAY!" yelled Hermione in a scandalized tone, "You don't know what sort of effects it has! Besides, I've read up on love potions and they only create an obsessive sort of love! Professor Slughorn said so too! Remember? 'It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love…' and it 'will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession…'" Harry felt annoyed with how Hermione could memorize word for word everything a teacher said. She was such a know-it-all!

"Well," replied Ron, "Ginny was already obsessed with Harry to begin with."

"Yea," agreed Harry, "She sent me that naughty love letter in my second year."

"It wasn't naughty!" scowled Hermione, "It was just bad poetry!"

"I like to think of it as naughty," sighed Harry with a dreamy look on his face. Hermione felt really disgusted and wanted to slap him, but that would be mean, and he had already been slapped twice that morning. Ron suddenly got a suspicious look on his face.

"Why were you reading about love potions?" he asked shrewdly. Hermione blushed a bit.

"That's none of your business!" she snapped. Harry noticed that her cheeks were remarkably red.

"You put some in _Vicky's_ potion didn't you," asked Ron scathingly.

"Don't callVictor _Vicky_! And no, I did not! That rumor was purely Rita Skeeter and that cow Pansy!"

"Yea, right," said Ron sarcastically. He did not look like he believed her one bit!

"Honestly Ron!" yelled Hermione, "I did _not_ feed Victor Krum a love potion, and I am _not_ in love with him! Stop being jealous!"

"Jealous?" returned Ron, "Rubbish! Why should I be jealous of that bloody git? And why should I be jealous over you?"

"_Don't call Victor Krum a git!_" screeched Hermione. Her hair seemed to grow to ten times its usual size. She scowled horribly at him and stomped away like an ugly male giant.

"Nice going Ron," grumbled Harry, "She's the only one that can brew a love potion for us."

"Why don't you ask Professor Slughorn? I'm sure he'd do anything for you!" suggested Ron. His face was still red and he was breathing rather heavily.

"Ok…" said Harry. He was really desperate. They hurried down to Professor Slughorn's office and banged on the door. Slughorn opened it and peered out.

"Harry m'boy!" greeted Professor Slughorn with a wide grin, "Everything going well I trust? Your friend Ralph here not in need of another bezoar?" He chuckled at his lame joke.

"It's _Ron_!" yelled Harry and Ron at the same time.

"Eh? I didn't hear you! Well come in! Come in!" Professor Slughorn gestured the two Gryffindors into his office. "Have some oak-matured mead! No worries! No poison in it this time! I've had the house elves check every bottle! Some crystallized pineapple?" He shoved Ron and Harry into their seats and waved his wand. The snacks appeared in front of them.

"What d'you want?" he asked, "This isn't just a social call is it m'boy?" His whole belly shook as he laughed loudly.

"Professor Slughorn…" began Harry hesitantly, "Well, a friend of mine has been having problems with a girl—"

"Say no more Harry!" interrupted Slughorn with a jolly laugh, "You want me to brew a love potion for your 'friend' eh?"

"Er… yea," replied Harry.

"Terribly sorry Harry," sighed Slughorn, "But love potions are banned from this school. I'll lose my job!"

"But professor! Please! It's Ginny! She's not herself! She hates me now!" begged Harry desperately.

"Miss Weasley eh? I'm sorry to say but she's always been the flighty type!" replied Slughorn.

"But professor…" groveled Harry. He stared up at Slughorn with his bile-colored eyes.

"You truly have your mother's eyes… why… I remember your father came to me with the very same problem! Begged me to brew a love potion he did! But I turned him down and they still came out alright!" chortled Slughorn. Harry decided to target Slughorn's weak points.

"Ginny's very talented isn't she," remarked Harry.

"Why yes! She's a talented little witch! Best Bat-bogey Hex I've ever seen!" replied the professor.

"She's the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter so I suppose that enhances her abilities," stated Harry carelessly.

"Of course! Extremely talented… yes…." Slughorn's eyes lingered over the precious photos of his successful former students.

"Imagine," said Harry, laying it on thick now, "If the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter married me, the Chosen One! What children we could have!" Harry winced inwardly. It was totally unlike him to say something like that, but desperate times required desperate measures! "And we would say that it was all thanks to _you_ Professor, who brought us both together so that we could conceive such marvelous, _talented_ children!" Ron stared at Harry, openmouthed and looking gormless. Ron began to get his paranoid ideas again. _He's not Harry_, he thought. _I need to get out of here. He could be Voldemort trying to get Professor Slughorn and Ginny and I'm probably next! Or he could be another Dark Lord and I could be Voldemort and he could be trying to get rid of me! _

"Hm…" Professor Slughorn considered this. Harry and Ginny's child could become the next minister, and he would probably get an unlimited supply of crystallized pineapples and oak-matured mead.

"Excuse me!" cried Ron, bolting out of his chair, "I suddenly have something else to do! Good-bye!" He rushed out the door.

"Well, now…" said Professor Slughorn. There were no witnesses present anymore, so he was free to bend a few Hogwarts rules. "Ok. I'll brew a love potion for you."

"YEEES!" cried Harry leaping out of his chair, "Thank you professor! Thank you so much! I'll name the super powerful baby after you!" He pumped Professor Slughorn's hand furiously. Slughorn started to have a few misgivings. Super powerful? Voldemort was like that… what if… Harry and Ginny's child came out super powerful and went wrong like Tom Riddle? Then he would get all the blame… no… a love potion would be out of the question…

"Er… I didn't think you were serious m'boy!" cried Slughorn, "I was just fooling with you! I'm sorry! Hogwart's rules!" And he shoved the stunned Harry out of his office. Harry tumbled to the ground as the door slammed shut behind him.

Oh brutal world! Harry wept. The whole world was out to get him! It was cruel of Slughorn to suddenly raise his hopes and then crush them! His shattered spirits were now ground into fine dust. He turned over onto his stomach and sobbed into the cold, hard marble floor of the castle. Harry was desolate! He had nothing left in the world. Harry decided to accept his fate. Voldemort would kill him and all would be over. Then he could see his parents and Sirius and Dumbledore again. His red and yellow scarf fluttered into his face. Red! RED! Red hair! Weasley! A ray of hope glimmered like a slick eyeball in the sunlight. Fred and George! Fred and George and their marvelous inventions! Fred and George and their joke shop! Fred and George and the _stuff_ they sold in their joke shop! Fred and George and their love potions! Fred and George saying, " Harry help yourself to anything you want, all right? No charge… Take whatever you like…" Fred and George! Harry leaped up with renewed vigor and rushed up to his dormitory, eager to put quill to parchment.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Harry stared at his parchment and nibbled on the feathery tip of his quill. _What to write…_he thought. _What to write what to write…_Harry could not figure out how to write his letter. He did not want to admit to Fred and George that his girlfriend had dumped him, especially if the girl was their sister. He also did not know how Fred and George would react if they found out that he was trying to feed Ginny a love potion. They would probably hex Harry until there was nothing left of him but a shriveled up black heart. Harry thought a minute and wrote:

Dear Fred and George,

Ron has been having problems with Hermione. Hermione hates him because he keeps getting between her and Victor Krum. I want to help Ron because he is my best mate. I think you want to help him too because he is your brother even if you think he is a filthy git. My idea is to feed Hermione a love potion. I think they will soon find out that they are actually in love with each other. I'll make sure no hanky panky goes on.

Yours truly,

Harry (your benefactor)

_Perfect,_ thought Harry, _I'll just use Ron and Hermione as the reason to get the Love Potion_. Harry rushed up to the Owlery and located his snowy white owl, Hedwig, among the equally white owl droppings. He tied the piece of parchment to her leg. She nipped him a couple of times on the ear.

"Fred and George," he told Hedwig. In a sudden rush of feathers, she was gone…

xx

…And back again, 12 minutes later. Harry was surprised. It usually took Hedwig a whole day before his letter got anywhere. He was only partway down the stairs from the Owlery when the owl had flown in and bowled him over. Harry nearly broke his neck, but since he had the reflexes of a Quidditch player, he managed to tumble down the stairs in a safer position. When Harry had finally stopped rolling, he stood up with a couple of bruises and grabbed the letter tied to Hedwig's leg. The letter was written on a beautiful, iridescent sheet of what looked like fairy wings.

"Wow," Harry muttered to himself, "This paper must be really expensive." He unrolled it and read:

Dear Harry,

We finally bought Zonko's you know. Today's a Hogsmeade day for you blokes I believe so you can just trot down here anytime. Love potion for Hermione? More like a love potion for Ron that idiot!

--Fred and George

_Oh yea_ thought Harry. He quickly ran up to the dormitories to grab a warm cloak and sped down to Hogsmeade.

xx

Harry walked into Zonko's, which was now called Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. It appeared that a hippie on LSD had decorated it because the colors were lurid, flashing, and neon. Harry was nearly blinded by the display. His eyes were throbbing in their sockets and the glare from his glasses only heightened the effect. Harry shut his eyes, but the colors were so bright that he could see through his eyelids anyway. With his arms --which were getting a nice tan-- held high over his face, he rushed into the shop.

"The Chosen One!" greeted Fred and George melodramatically. They both acted as though they had not seen Harry since forever, and they each pumped an arm enthusiastically. Harry's arm bones were nearly dislocated from his shoulder sockets. Then the twins grabbed Harry into a tight embrace. Harry felt as flat as a house elf under a giant's foot.

"Hello Fred, hello George," gasped Harry after he had been released.

"Harry! How kind of you to visit our humble abode!" cried Fred.

"Welcome, welcome! You are welcome to all our wonderful products!" yelled George.

"I just want a love potion for G—Ron…" said Harry.

"Of course! We'll give you that---" began George.

"--And more!" finished Fred. They began to pile endless amounts of prank materials into his arms.

"No! No! I don't need this stuff!" shouted Harry, "I just want a simple love potion!"

"And so you shall!" exclaimed George. He ran into the storage room and returned with arms piled high with bottles and boxes.

"We've got love potions in these cherry-filled chocolates, love potions mixed in with this fudge over here—it's really quite delicious, mum's recipe in fact—and we filled in some of these cupcakes with it, but you can also buy simple love potions if you want to do the mixing yourself. All of these are temporary however; this one here lasts for about a week until the effects wear off, but if you keep it really long, it lasts much longer," explained Fred.

"And the love potions cause the drinker to fall in love with the first person he sees unless you add a bit of whoever you want him to fall in love with—like a toenail or a strand of hair, but I would suggest spit—it's less noticeable," continued George.

"Use with caution--" warned Fred.

"—Or you could end up making a fool of yourself," finished George.

"Er… I don't know what I should choose," said Harry.

"If it's for Hermione, you should probably get the fudge and tell her it's from mum or something," suggested Fred.

"Or you could get her some of this perfume. That won't be unusual because Ron has given her some before," said George.

"I think I'll get both. Just in case one doesn't work out the way it should," said Harry. He needed to get one for Ron in case Fred and George asked him about it. Harry didn't want Fred and George to wonder about what he really did with the love potion. He decided to use the fudge for Ginny and the perfume for Hermione.

"Alright! How many days do you want it to last?" asked George.

"About a week," decided Harry. He figured that after Ginny fell in love with him, she'd still be in love with him even after the effects wore off.

"That'll be… FREE!" beamed Fred as he dumped the two packages into Harry's arms. "Remember to tell us how it works out between our darling ickle Ronnikins and his lovely girlfriend Hermione!"

"I will!" replied Harry, grinning back. His heart suddenly felt as light as a Pheonix feather, and the feeling stayed with him all the way to the castle. Harry almost felt like twirling and skipping and dancing all the way up to his dormitory, except that would not be normal, so he settled with bouncing up every step. He bounded into his dormitory and onto his bed. Drawing the curtains tight around him, Harry carefully unwrapped the packages. He picked up the container of fudge and opened it, then spat a huge glob of white, frothy spit into it. He churned it around a bit with his finger so that it mixed, and wiped his finger off on a tissue. He was careful not to lick it off because he would fall in love with himself and that would be really nasty. Then, he carefully slid it back into its package and wrote "Ginny Weasley" clearly on the top. He put it aside and opened up the package containing the bottle of perfume. Harry smelled it, and the odor reminded him of Ginny and Quidditch. With a dreamy smile, Harryleft it on his bedand went over to Ron's bed. He searched the pillow until he found a strand of violently red hair. It was Ron's all right. He unscrewed the bottle and dropped the red strand into it.The color changed from a transluctant pink into a golden, urine-like color.It started to smell like skunk underwear, Ron's signature scent.

_Perfect_, thought Harry. He rewrapped the perfume and walked down the stairs to the common room, carrying his two packages.

xx

Ginny was sitting in front of the fire in the common room, surrounded by her group of happily chattering friends. They had just got back from Hogsmeade, and all of them were rosy-cheeked and good humored. Ginny brushed her windswept red hair away from her face and flashed her white teeth at everyone. She made everyone laugh with her funny joke about the witch, the lion, and the wardrobe that all walk into a bar. Suddenly, an annoying guy with an ugly scar popped up. Ginny groaned inwardly when she realized who it was. She gripped her wand and was about to whip it out to perform her Bat Bogey Hex when she noticed that all of her female friends were giggling insanely, and it wasn't at her joke either. _They were giggling at that disgusting bloke!_

"Ginny," said Harry, "Ron told me to give this package to you. I think it's from your mother." Ginny snatched the package away from him.

"Thank you," she said coldly. She put it aside and stared at him, willing him to leave. He just stood there and stared back at her.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" asked Harry.

"Why should I?" said Ginny, frigidly, "It's probably some snacks from mum. Run along now."

"What type of snacks? I'd like to know," replied Harry. He did not move because he needed to make sure Ginny ate the fudge.

"It's none of your business you bloody git! Now get away from me! You're foul and nasty! _Nasty_!" yelled Ginny. Her friends had stopped giggling now. They were staring at her with shocked expressions on their respective faces.

Harry was hurt. Very hurt. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes like bubbles of blood from a wound. His lip trembled uncontrollably, like it did whenever he rode the cart in Gringotts. But he stood firm.

"I just wanted to know," he said quietly. Ginny noticed that he was on the verge of tears.

"Fine!" she scowled, "I'll open it! Just don't cry you weakling!" She fumed as she tore the package apart and pulled out the container of fudge. "There!" she shrieked, "Fudge! From my mom! Happy now?" She hated Harry so much at that moment. He was such a loser! Honestly! What kind of boy actually _cried_ when they didn't get their way? He was obviously a spoiled brat from an overly rich family! She hated those types of men the most! They were soft and pampered and indulged at every turn! He probably did not even know how to brush his teeth without a house elf doing it for him! No wonder he looked so disgusting! At Hogwarts, there were no house elves that could pamper him, which was probably why his hair was uncombed and untidy, and he had a scrawny, bedraggled appearance. Most likely, he smelled and had poor hygiene, but Ginny did not want to get close enough to find out.

"Aren't you going to eat it?" asked Harry.

"Do I need you watching me at every turn? _I do not!_ Leave! Now! Or else!" shrieked Ginny, drawing out her wand. Harry eyed it warily.

"I'm sorry! I was just wondering!" groveled Harry, "Please just take a little bite! A weensy weenie widdle bite!"

"No way! You're a bloody lecher aren't you? I bet you get some sort of sick pleasure in watching girls eat! No way am I going to indulge you! Now get out!" shouted Ginny.

"No! That's not it! I just want to know if it's good!" whimpered Harry. Ginny's behavior was starting to scare him. He hoped she calmed down after they were married.

"That's it!" snarled Ginny, her nostrils flaring. She raised her wand and hexed Harry before he could react. His bogeys immediately flew from his nose and became large bats that began to attack him. He screamed as he fled the common room, pursued by giant, slimy, and drippy green flying objects.

"That was pretty harsh," remarked one of Ginny's friends, who was the first to recover from shock.

"Wow, I can't believe you did that!" exclaimed another friend.

"I know! And to _Harry Potter_ _The Chosen One_!" whispered another girl in a reverent manner. Ginny's face was red and blotchy and she turned to her friends with a murderous gleam in her eye.

"That filthy git!" growled Ginny, "He's a disgusting pervert. He deserved what he got!"

"Didn't you two date for a while?" asked the first girl. Ginny lost control again.

"WE DID NOT! AND I WILL THANK YOU NOT TO BRING THAT UP AGAIN!" she howled. Her three friends quailed under her ferocious glare. They clutched each other for comfort, and the fire that Ginny's red hair exuded burned and blistered the skins on their noses.

"We're sorry!" they chimed as they quivered in fear. Ginny calmed down. She let go of her wand, which had left a long, deep, and vertical indent in the flesh of her hand. Her nails had left marks in her palms as well.

"Sorry," she apologized, "But that git has been bothering me all morning and I'm about to go mad." Privately, every single one of her friends believed that Ginny was already mad, but they were afraid to say so.

"Why don't you have some of the fudge that your mum made you? I'm sure you'll calm down a bit," suggested one of the girls, tentatively. The other girls stared at her, awed by her bravery. She was a true Gryffindor.

"No thanks," said Ginny, very calmly, "But I'm not in the mood for it anymore, thanks to that bloke. You can have it. My mum makes the best fudge." Slowly, and in a very serene manner that was almost scary, Ginny marched up the stairs to her dorm. She wondered what was wrong with her. It was extremely unusual for her to react to a boy so violently, but she just hated that particular boy so much!

xx

Harry finally got rid of his attacking bogies and decided to look for Hermione. Unsurprisingly, he managed to locate her in the Library. A huge book hid her face, but he could see that her ears were red and hot looking, and her hair was still very bushy.

"Er… Hermione?" he asked, timidly, "Ron says he's really sorry and he got you a present from Hogsmeade." Harry placed the package on the table in front of her. Hermione slowly lowered her book and looked at it. Her maroon face was slowly returning to its normal color.

"What is it?" she asked, in a carefully controlled tone.

"I don't know," replied Harry, untruthfully, "But why don't you open and see?"

Hermione picked it up and slit open the package. She stared at it.

"It's perfume," she stated, "And it smells really nice. How kind of him." Her face displayed no expression, and her voice was calm and cool. She put the bottle back down on the table.

"Aren't you going to try some of it?" wondered Harry.

"Maybe later," replied Hermione, and her face still expressionless, she picked up her book and continued reading. Harry decided to leave her alone for a while. Girls could be so complicated! He had expected her to be jumping all over him and thanking him and exclaiming how great Ron was and that she forgave him, but he decided that Hermione just wasn't the materialistic type. He turned and left the library.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Chapter 6

Ginny's three friends sat in the common room with the container of fudge in front of them.

"Yum," said one girl, "Ginny's mother makes the best fudge. I can't wait to eat it!"

"Too bad Ginny's missing out on it. Maybe we should save her some in case she changes her mind!" suggested another girl.

"Fine," replied the third girl. She reached for the container and opened it.

"It seems a bit more watery than usual," observed the first girl.

"Yea. It's not really thick and it smells weird," stated the second girl.

"Maybe Ginny's mom spit in it!" giggled the third.

"Ew! No way! She probably just added too much water or something! I think it's safe to eat!" declared the first.

"We don't have spoons though," pointed out the second.

"Oh yea, I'll go down to the kitchens to grab a few," offered the first. She closed the container of fudge and left the Gryffindor Common Room. The two remaining girls stared at it.

"It looks too good to wait! That weird smell is almost appetizing!" cried the second friend. "One eensy taste probably won't hurt…"

xx

Harry wandered around, wondering if Ginny had tasted the fudge yet. He decided to look for Ron. Ron was most likely up in the dormitories sleeping, so Harry headed back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Maybe Ginny would come running at him and leap into his welcoming arms. Then they could make-out. Harry started to run, eagerly anticipating what he thought was coming.

Harry reached the portrait of the fat horrible lady in pink silk. He spoke the password, and she swung forward to admit him. He clambered in, just in time to see one of Ginny's friends lifting a watery fudge-covered finger to her mouth.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," wailed Harry in horror. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. With his super Seeker reflexes, Harry made an awesome leap across the room, and began to ascend with his arms spread apart like an eagle, right above the unfortunate damsel. He looked like he was about to body slam the poor maiden. The girl looked up, her fudge-covered nose pickers an inch from her mouth, and saw Harry coming down upon her like a whale doing a belly flop.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH," she screamed in fright. Her terrified shriek was muffled halfway by Harry's body, which squashed her flat! There was total pandemonium in the Common Room as Gryffindors rushed over to see what the ruckus was all about. Parchment flew and ink bottles overturned. Miraculously, the container of fudge was perfectly fine, having been snatched out of harm's way by the third friend of Ginny's. Ginny's second friend, unfortunately, was not fine. In fact, she was feeling extremely bruised and flat. The wind had been squashed out of her. Harry, who was still crushing the poor female, was breathing rather heavily. He was glad he had managed to prevent a disaster. Harry clambered off of the flattened girl and brushed himself off. Then he helped her up. At that moment, Ginny came down the stairs to investigate the screams and gasps. She took in the scene all in one glance, noting the crushed table, her ruffled-looking friend, and the green-eyed git's sheepish expression.

"What is your problem?" demanded the redhead furiously.

"Eek…" stuttered Harry, whose voice was abnormally high, "I-I was just t-trying to prevent her from eating y-your f-fudge. Your mom m-made it j-just for you, you know."

"Well, I let her have it! And next time, I should thank you not to go flying into other peoples' businesses! You're just a nosy old busy body! And what does it matter to you that I'm letting other people have my stuff? Go mind your own business and your own stuff!" shrieked Ginny angrily. Her eyes were blazing spots of fire, which seemed to ignite her entire head. Her hair had become such a flaring shade of red that the common room was nearly consumed in flames! The brave Gryffindors fearfully cowered behind tables and chairs, and the diminutive ember in the fireplace shrank in submission to the raging conflagration of Ginny's hair. Harry, who had caught full blast, was already reduced to a pile of ash, but not really. He was more like a burned, quivering glob of terrified pudding.

"I-I'm really sorry G-Ginny, but I was j-just try-trying t-to p-protect y-your st-stuff," pleaded Harry in a fearful squeak. Ginny looked even more terrifying than Lord Voldemort, who resembled a bald Michael Jackson!

"I can protect my own stuff _thank you_! No get out of my sight! I never, ever want to see you again! And stay away from my friends too!" shrieked Ginny like a Banshee on fire. She was a lot like Mrs. Weasley.

Harry regained his normal voice.

"I'm sorry Ginny, but I can't do that," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. There were stifled gasps coming from the quailing Gryffindors. The Chosen One was surely done for, and all they could do was watch in a horrified silence!

"And why not?" hissed Ginny, straight-backed and dangerous. Her eyes were narrowed to slits, and one of her hands was gripping her wand tightly. She longed to curse that black-haired piece of filth into obliteration, but she had to remain calm.

"Because—Because I really like you!" confessed Harry. All the air in the common room disappeared as every single Gryffindor took a sharp intake of air. They all watched Ginny fearfully, waiting in suspense at the imminent explosion. Surprisingly, she remained still. Her features softened for a moment.

"Well—in that case," began Ginny, "I really like you too!"

"Really?" asked Harry, who looked like all of his dreams had come true and more!

"NOT!" shrieked Ginny, gurgling and laughing wildly with her amber eyes rolling madly in their sockets. She raised her wand and screeched a spell, all the while continuing her insane cackling. BOOM! A flash of blinding yellow light! Harry's entire body was lifted into the air and blasted entirely out of the common room! Nothing remained of the fat lady's portrait, or the wall previously underneath it. Harry crashed through several floors and ended up landing in one of the dungeons. He was also half dead and singed. Up in the Gryffindor boys' dormitories, Ron snored soundly.

xx

In the library, Hermione looked up momentarily from the thick tome that she was currently immersed in, as a BOOM sounded in the distance. She shrugged. It was probably Peeves. She closed her book and put it aside. She looked at the bottle of perfume that Ron had supposedly given to her. Hermione picked it up from the table before her, and held it up to the light, admiring the smooth, crystalline color of the amber liquid. She held it to her nose, savoring the musky scent. How kind of him to give her this lovely perfume! It sure smelled like Ron though. Hermione wondered if it was the cologne that Ron used, if Ron even used cologne. She lifted up the glass bottle and was about to spray some on her neck when—

"Miss Granger!" came a shrill voice from behind a shelf. Hermione put the bottle of perfume down and turned around. Madame Pince's vulture-like face was poking out between two books.

"Yes?" sighed Hermione, annoyed, "Am I thinking too loud?" Madame Pince scowled at her.

"You had better go to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey seems to be looking for you," said the Librarian. Hermione looked up, a worried frown creasing the lines in her forehead.

"What do you mean? Has someone been hurt?" demanded Hermione.

"Not so loud! I don't know! Just go!" replied Madame Pince testily. Hermione stood up and stuffed her books and the perfume into her bag. She groaned inwardly. This was her second time to the Hospital Wing today. Madame Pomfrey just probably wanted to confirm something about Ginny's amnesia or maybe Harry was in there, arguing his case. She hoped Ginny got her memory back soon. This business was taking a lot out of her study time!

xx

"Ron! Wake up!" cried Dean and Seamus frantically. They shook Ron vigorously, but he snored on.

"Ron! Ron!" they cried desperately. Seamus slapped Ron a couple of times on his face. Finally, Dean decided to use the Levicorpus spell.

"Wha--?" yelled Ron in surprise. It was quite a shock to find himself hanging from the ceiling. Dean released Ron back onto the bed.

"Your sister just killed Harry!" cried Seamus.

"Eh?" replied Ron. His mind had not yet adjusted. He was still woozy from sleep.

"Your sister! Ginny! She just murdered Harry!" repeated Dean. Dean was extremely glad he had broken up with Ginny. He was also glad that their break-up had been peaceful and nonviolent, unlike her break-up with Harry. Dean shuddered at the thought.

Ron wondered if this was some kind of joke, or if his memories were being tested. The only way Harry _could_ die was if Voldemort killed him—but wait—what if _Ginny_ was Voldemort? She _had_ been the one who opened the Chamber of Secrets in her first year! But he had to worry about Harry first. Ron leapt out of bed.

"Where's Harry?" he shouted, overcome with worry, "Take me to him!"

"Well, he's in the hospital wing. I'm sure you know where that is," answered Dean. Ron sped out of the dormitory, his bed sheets still tangled in his legs. He didn't even need to stop to clamber out of the portrait hole because it wasn't there anymore.

xx

Harry groaned in the bed he was currently occupying. His entire body was swathed in bandages so that he looked like a mummy. He couldn't move a finger or a toe. Harry wondered if he was paralyzed. He hoped not, or else the Gryffindor Quidditch team would lose this year.

"Harry!" came a highly energized squeak from the bed next to him. Harry groaned. He knew that voice. Harry did not even bother to answer. He was too dizzy, so he closed his eyes and pretended to be dead or asleep.

"Harry!" came the squeaky voice again. It was Colin Creevey, who was completely wrapped in a cast like Harry's. "Look! We match! We're twins! I wish I had my camera so I could take a picture of us! We're both wrapped in bandages!" Colin giggled dementedly. Harry just moaned. He wished he could turn his head away, but it was wrapped in a cast as well. All he could do was stare at the white ceiling. Suddenly, there was a loud CRACK and Dobby the house elf appeared.

"Harry Potter sir!" came a higher and squeakier voice than Colin's. "Harry Potter sir! Dobby heard the noble Harry Potter was injured! So Dobby came to see Harry Potter sir!" Dobby jumped onto Harry's stomach, and Harry winced in pain.

"Hello Dobby," croaked Harry in a tortured voice. This was the last thing he needed. Dobby's green eyes gleamed with happiness, and just as quickly, filled up with tears.

"Dobby was very busy Harry Potter sir! But when Dobby heard the great Harry Potter was injured, Dobby immediately stopped what Dobby was doing and came to see the noble Harry Potter!" Dobby shoved his ugly mug into Harry's face. All Harry could manage was a weak grin. Dobby's face was full of devotion for Harry.

"Can Dobby get the noble Harry Potter sir anything?" asked Dobby.

"Just some piece and quiet," moaned Harry incoherently. Dobby, however, understood.

"Dobby knitted Harry Potter sir a pair of socks! Dobby will leave Harry Potter sir's socks here now. Good bye Harry Potter sir!" cried Dobby enthusiastically, and with a CRACK he disappeared.

Harry rolled his eyebrows down to his stomach, which was wrapped in white bandages. The lurid socks laying there contrasted sharply with his ivory belly. One sock was a neon orange and covered in rainbow Hungarian Horntails. His other sock was a deep blue and decorated with crooked snitches, bludgers, and broomsticks. Looking at them made Harry's eyes hurt. They rolled up into his head, and he went unconscious.

Review review review! I'd like to know what you think:)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ginny was in the Headmaster's Office. Professor McGonagall, the new Headmaster, was staring sternly across the desk at Ginny.

"I'm sorry Professor," said Ginny, her eyes glimmering with crocodile tears. "I don't know what came over me. I just meant to hex Harry so he'd stay away from me, but I lost control." Ginny was not in the least bit sorry, and she knew perfectly well what came over her. She hated Harry.

Professor McGonagall sighed and massaged her temples. The Weasley girl certainly _seemed_ sorry, and accidents _did_ happen, especially in a school full of young, inexperienced witches and wizards. Besides, the Potter boy had not gotten killed, and the holes in the wall and floor where the boy had crashed through were repairable. The fat lady had also managed to escape, even if her canvas and frame were obliterated. No one else had gotten hurt.

"Well Miss Weasley, I am just going to take one hundred points from Gryffindor, and give you a warning. Do try to control yourself next time, and don't do it again," implored McGonagall. "You may leave."

Ginny left the office, hugging herself inwardly. She had managed to get away with only a light reprieve! At least the disgusting black-haired boy was out of the picture for now!

xx

"Oh Harry!" gasped Hermione sorrowfully over Harry's battered and broken body.

"This is awful mate!" exclaimed Ron, "And we have a Quidditch game coming up!"

"Ron! Is Quidditch all you think about?" admonished Hermione.

"Yea," agreed Harry, "I suppose Ginny'll have to play in my place."

"You're not kicking her off the team?" asked Ron.

"No, she's pretty good. Besides, it doesn't matter anymore. I'll be stuck here for a while. Some of my bones were completely shattered," said Harry.

"What'd you do to get her some mad at you?" questioned Ron.

"I wanted her to eat some fudge," replied Harry.

"And for that she blasted you through a wall and seven floors?" asked Hermione skeptically.

"Er… yea," said Harry. He did not want them to question him further or else he'd have a hard time explaining about the fudge and the love potion. He knew that Hermione did not approve of it. He could probably tell Ron, though. It was Ron's idea in the first place.

"She had fudge?" grinned Ron, "Excellent! I'll have to ask her for some!"

"No, you don't want to eat that!" cried Harry, alarmed.

"Why not?" asked Ron. Hermione looked curious as well.

"Because… because…" Harry thought furiously. "Ginny jinxed it!" Before Ron could open his mouth and ask why, Madame Pomfrey bustled in and shooed them out of the Hospital Wing. It was time for Harry to rest.

xx

Ginny sat in the dormitories surrounded by her three friends.

"Wow Ginny! I can't believe you got away with that!" cried Juliet, Ginny's friend number one.

"Yea! How'd you do it?" questioned Ophelia, Ginny's friend number two.

"Well," laughed Ginny, "Fred and George taught me how to cry fake tears to get myself out of trouble!"

"I've gotta learn that!" giggled Miranda, Ginny's friend number three.

"Let's celebrate! I've got some bottles of Butterbeer that I bought in Hogsmeade today!" suggested Ophelia.

"And I bought a bunch of candy at Honeyduke's!" added Juliet.

"Hey Ginny! Let's have some of that fudge your mom made!" yelled Miranda enthusiastically, "I've been dying to eat it!"

"Fine," grinned Ginny good-naturedly at her friends. The girls produced their goods.

"I still have those spoons I got when I went down to the kitchens," remarked Juliet, who produced four ornate silver spoons. She handed the utensils out, one to each girl. Ginny opened the container of fudge.

"Mmm," sighed Miranda dreamily, "It looks as good as before. Smells great too!"

"Oh yea," agreed Juliet, sniffing deeply and luxuriously. "It smells like chocolate and bunnies and spruce!"

"That's funny," said Ophelia, "But it smells like ham and lettuce (hamlet! Get it? Hahahahaha) and flowers and mountain air to me!"

"Smells like wind over a Quidditch field to me," observed Ginny, "But I can detect a faint trace of spit!"

"That's funny! I can smell spit too!" cried Miranda.

"Hey! Me too!" shouted Juliet.

"Wow! What an insult! Your mom spit in the fudge before she gave it to you!" laughed Ophelia.

"Don't be ridiculous! I think it's safe to eat!" declared Ginny. "Let's dig in!" All four girls simultaneously dug their spoons into the lovely, smooth brown fudge…

…And put it in their mouths. Even Ginny.

xx

Hermione stood in the bathroom, facing the mirror. She was getting ready for bed. Hermione looked at herself in the mirror and eyed her bushy hair critically. It really was too bushy! She wished she could permanently straighten it. At least she had nice teeth now. Hermione picked up the bottle of perfume that Ron had supposedly given her and smelled it again.

"Mmm…" she breathed, "It smells like Ron and mown grass and new parchment. How did he know? Those are my favorite smells!" Hermione was about to spray it on her neck when…

…Peeves rushed in through the bathroom wall!

"EEK!" shrieked Hermione, "PEEVES! You're invading my privacy!"

"Why!" hooted Peeves, pretending to be surprised, "Ugly bushy Hermy got perfume from her boyfriend Wonnikins!" He dove down and snatched the bottle of perfume from Hermione's hands!

"Peeves!" screamed Hermione in anger, "Give that back!"

"Wonny lurves Hermy! Wonny lurves Hermy!" sang Peeves mockingly as he swooped through the wall and out of the bathroom with the perfume in hand, all the while cackling maniacally.

_I'll get him later_, thought Hermione darkly. She turned and went to bed, plotting what she would do to Peeves once she caught him, and bemoaning her loss of the lovely perfume.

xx

Ginny and her friends swallowed the fudge. Suddenly, a change seemed to come over their faces. Each girl radiated purity and happiness, and a shaft of heavenly light struck their faces. All four lifted their eyes to the ceiling at the same time, and sighed dreamily with pink blushes tinting their glowing cheeks. A divine brilliance radiated from their starry eyes, and a demure smile played around their pink lips.

"Suddenly," sighed Ginny, "The world seems heavenly just knowing that Harry Potter is in it."

"Oh yes," breathed Juliet, "No emerald could compare with the clear green depths of his eyes."

"And that soft black hair! I just want to run my hands through its silky darkness!" murmured Ophelia.

"His voice is more beautiful than phoenix song to me," confided Miranda. All four girls sighed deeply and heavenly.

"He's mine," declared Ginny.

"No! He's _mine_!" claimed Miranda.

"Both of you! Be quiet! We all know he prefers _me_," yelled Ophelia.

"Don't be stupid girls! Darling Harry is meant to be with me!" asserted Juliet.

"Don't darling him!" screamed Ginny.

"He's my honey bunny!" yelled Juliet.

"He's my precious treasure!" scowled Miranda.

"He's my love rhino!" howled Ophelia.

"He's my cuddly huddly!" screeched Juliet.

"Harry's MY sweetie buns!" bellowed Ginny threatingly.

"No! He's mine!"

"Mine!"

"MINE! ALL MINE!"

"NO! MINE! MINE MINE!"

"Mine!"

"No! MINE!"

"MINE!"

Then the four girl's screaming match erupted into a fight! Ginny turned Miranda's hair orange and Miranda aimed a spell at Ginny, but missed. The spell hit Juliet, who then started to spew slugs from her ears. Juliet wrapped a bed sheet around Ophelia's head. Ophelia pummeled Ginny with marshmallows transfigured from her pillow, and Ginny conjured some smelly dead fish and showered the other three girls in them. Miranda changed the fish into ripe tomatoes, which got into everyone's hair. It was total pandemonium! Sparks flew and different colored beams of light erupted from wands. Mattresses and pillows were gutted. Ophelia sported a green mustache and Ginny had yellow reindeer antlers. One of Juliet's ears was purple. Miranda's wand was blasted out of her hand, so she began to pummel Juliet on the back. Juliet thrashed about, accidentally kicking Ginny, who cast aside her wand and threw herself at Juliet. Ophelia joined the writhing mass of arms and legs on the ground. Hairs were being torn out of heads, nails were clawing, and teeth were biting. Finally, Ginny had had enough! Someone (she couldn't tell who through the tangle of bodies) had bitten her and drawn blood!

"Stop!" shrieked Ginny loudly from her position at the very bottom of the pile. All the other girls froze. "Let's break it up!"

"Only if you admit that Harry is really mine!" said Ophelia.

"No way!" bawled Miranda.

"Stop!" bellowed Ginny. "Be reasonable! We can't ruin our friendship over one guy, even if he's smart and dreamy and handsome and the greatest creature on earth!"

"Yea!" agreed Juliet, "Even though I love him more than life itself and I need him more than food and drink, we can't allow ourselves to split up over him!"

"Then what can we do?" questioned Ophelia, "I love him so!"

"We can start a Harry Potter Fan Club!" said Ginny, "And then we could live like nuns and devote our lives to him and worship him!"

"Wonderful idea!" cried Miranda.

"But," said Ginny, "We can worship him, but none of us can date him or have him to herself. We have to share him!"

"I agree," said Ophelia.

"Yes!" Juliet, "Even though we are all hopelessly in love with the great Harry Potter, our epic friendship has prevailed!"

"And," said Ginny, "Our first order of business is to clean up this room!" The girls stared at the mess they had created and sighed.

Review review review:) and thanks for reviewing!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

On Sunday morning, at six o'clock am, Ginny and her three friends bounced out of bed. They could not wait to exist in a world that contained Harry Potter! They wanted to breathe the same air he breathed and revel in the glory of being under the same roof as him as soon as possible.

"The air is especially fresh today and everything smells lovely!" cried Ginny joyfully. She did a funny little dance on the carpet.

"I just realized something, but the air we're breathing is bound to have some of the carbon dioxide that darling Harry exhaled which means we're breathing in some of the breath he exhaled which means that it's practically an indirect kiss!" giggled Ophelia. At this statement, all four girls began to swallow huge gulps of air.

"Waitaminute," said Juliet, "This means that everyone else in school is getting an indirect kiss from the gorgeous Harry Potter!"

"Oh no!" yelled Miranda, "The awesome Harry Potter is not allowed to kiss anyone except us, his devoted fans! We must deprive the rest of the world of this sacred air so that only we may breathe it!"

Ginny only laughed. "Don't be silly! Let's go look for him right now! Maybe we'll get a real kiss!"

"I can't wait!" sighed Juliet dreamily, "Hurry! We must leave immediately!" The four girls quickly got dressed and bounded out of the girls' dormitories. Then, they ran up the staircase and into the boys' dorm. They quickly located Harry's usual sleeping area. Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Neville were all sleeping soundly in their respective beds, but Harry just was not there!

"Harry Potter is not here!" sobbed Ophelia, devastated.

"Has this all been a lovely dream, a figment of my imagination?" murmured Juliet. "I should have known that such perfection as the awesome Harry Potter might only exist in the land of dreams!"

"O woe!" lamented Miranda, "That beauteous creature Harry has been stolen from my sight!"

"Where is Harry?" wondered Ginny. She pounced on Ron and gave him a solid smack on the face.

"Wha--?" gasped Ron sitting up with a start. He gave a piercing shriek when he saw Ginny.

"Eh?" mumbled Seamus sleepily from his bed, "Is someone getting murdered?"

"Who screamed?" groaned Dean. There was a bit of spittle next to his mouth.

Neville snorted a few times and continued sleeping.

"It's You-Know-Who!" screamed Ron, bolting out of bed and making a dash for the door. Ginny managed to tackle him around the legs and sat on him.

"It's just Ginny," muttered Seamus, still half asleep. The other boys turned over and continued sleeping. It was too early in the morning for their brains to function much, so they did not really care that girls were seeing them in that state.

"What do you want Ginny?" trembled Ron. Ginny wrapped her fingers around his scrawny neck.

"Tell us where Harry is," she hissed. This confirmed Ron's ludicrous theory.

"You're You-Know-Who!" gasped Ron in horror. He struggled wildly, but the other three girls jumped on him as well. "I'm not telling the likes of you where my best mate Harry is!"

"Tell us," snarled Ginny sinisterly. She pulled out her wand.

"No! Haven't you done enough to him? Leave him alone!" wheezed Ron, still resisting valiantly. The girls sure weighed a lot!

"Oh yea! That reminds me!" spoke up Juliet, "Harry's in the Hospital Wing!"

"Oh yea!" remembered the rest of the girls, except Ginny who wondered why. For some reason, she had no recollection of attacking Harry. They let Ron go, and trampled him in their rush for the door. They sped down to the common room, and stopped before the portrait hole, which had been magically repaired.

"I don't think we're going to be allowed to see Harry. The hospital wing isn't open yet!" remarked Ophelia, sadly.

"That's okay. We can always blast the door apart," replied Miranda.

"While we wait, why don't we make him some get well cards?" suggested Ginny.

"Great idea!" yelled Juliet, "Now we can declare our undying love for the great Harry Potter!" They all took out pieces of parchment and began to write.

Ginny paused, her quill held ready above the scrap of parchment and thought for a minute. Then she wrote:

_With eyes as green as a fresh pickled toad_

_And hair as black as a chalkboard_

_An epitome of perfection is Harry Potter,_

_Who's one million miles way hotter,_

_Than You-Know-Who_

_Who's a big fat stinky poo_

_Love,_

_Ginny Weasley_

Juliet wrote:

_O Harry Potter-o_

_You are truly divine-o_

_'Cause you're my Romeo_

_Won't you be mine-o?_

_XOXOXO_

_Love, Juliet_

Miranda wrote:

_Darling, handsome, dreamy, gorgeous Harry, I love you! I love you ardently! I love you more than roosters love chickens and male rhinos love female rhinos! You're the most beauteous creature I have ever seen! I love you! I love you! By the way, did I tell you how much I love you? How can I put into words your charming smile, your sparkly green eyes that are the color of my Dazzling Green Apple nail polish, and your beautiful silky black hair that is darker than a void in space? I love you!_

_Love, love, love,_

_Miranda._

_P.S. I think your scar is beautiful too. I love it!_

Ophelia wrote:

_My Beloved Harry,_

_I would do anything for you, even drown in a pool of flowers,_

_Because you make me feel higher than two towers,_

_My love will last an infinite amount of hours._

_I want to send you Howlers._

_Love,_

_Ophelia._

Ginny, having finished her poem, wandered over and looked at Ophelia's work.

"Why Howlers?" asked Ginny.

"I needed something that rhymed with flowers," replied Ophelia.

"Howlers doesn't rhyme with flowers," pointed out Ginny.

"Close enough," said Ophelia. "Isn't your poem a bit immature?"

"No it isn't! It's completely true! It's a great work of art and should be published in Witch Weekly!" defended Ginny, "Besides, you should see the lame stuff Miranda and Juliet wrote!"

"Hey, at least I made all of my words rhyme," scowled Juliet. "That takes true skill!"

"I didn't even bother to write poetry," said Miranda, "Because I am using very descriptive words and eloquent similes, which should be good enough."

"Well, let's go down to the Great Hall and have some breakfast, then we'll go see him," advised Ginny.

"Fine," replied the other three girls. They left the common room.

xx

"Heeheehee!" giggled Peeves insanely as he swooped around the school. It was only seven o' clock am, and he was already up to some mischief! He was holding the bottle of perfume that Ron had given Hermione.

_This will make a great stink bomb_ thought Peeves with his ghostly mind. The perfume really stank! It smelled like skunk underwear! Now, all Peeves had to do was find a strategic place to put it to ensure that people would get dunked by it. Peeves was careful to hold it far away from him. He was afraid the smell would knock him unconscious, even if he were a ghost.

Peeves suddenly got an idea and cackled. He would shower everyone with the smelly perfume while they had breakfast in the Great Hall! This would be the prank of the century! After all, with Dumbledore gone, none of those piddling, bumbling teachers could control him! And besides, the Bloody Baron was never awake in the morning!

xx

Harry lay in bed and sighed. He still could not move a finger. He was also very tired because he had to re-grow many of his body parts since some of them were damaged beyond repair. Harry hoped that he would not emerge from the hospital wing, horribly maimed.

"Mister Potter!" said Madame Pomfrey imperiously, "You have visitors!"

Harry's heart leapt. Ron and Hermione would surely cheer him up! But to his surprise, it was Ginny and her friends who rounded the corner!

Harry regarded Ginny rather coolly.

"Here to apologize?" asked Harry sarcastically. For some reason, Ginny's eyes filled with tears.

"I'm so sorry!" she blubbered, "I don't know what I was thinking when I did that! I would never do that in a million years! Ever!" Ginny sobbed some more. Harry was taken aback by her tears.

"Er…" said Harry awkwardly, "Er… don't cry Ginny." He would have reached out and patted her back except he couldn't move his body.

"I was just told of what I did! I don't deserve you!" wailed Ginny sadly. Harry's heart leapt at this.

"You mean you want to get back together?" questioned Harry. This was almost too good to be true! Maybe the love potion had worked after all!

"Get back together?" Ginny stopped crying and looked blank.

"Y'know, like start dating again?" said Harry hopefully.

"Dating? With me?" uttered Ginny. Suddenly, her three friends were glaring at her like they wanted her to jump off a giant's head.

"Ginny!" scowled Ophelia, "Remember club rules!"

"Yea! You have to share him!" muttered Miranda. Ginny turned back to Harry.

"I'm so sorry Harry, but I can't date you. My friends and I all love you, and it's just unfair to have you to myself!" sighed Ginny. Harry rolled his eyes in the direction of her friends, who were making goo-goo eyes at him. He realized that they must have eaten the fudge as well.

_Uh oh_, thought Harry in horror. He was _so_ doomed! Now what was he going to do? After all his hard work! Now he would have to wait until the end of the week before the effects wore off, but Ginny wouldn't be in love with him then because he would not be able to take her out on dates and get her to like him again! Those stupid meddling friends of hers! But he shouldn't blame them. It was his fault. No wait, it was Ron's fault! Ron was the one who had given him the idea! Ron was going to die! Harry would deal with Ron later because he wanted to die at the moment. The annoying girls were suffocating him!

"Honey Buns!" giggled Ophelia in a voice dripping with molasses. "I have a get well card for you!"

"And so do I Cuddly Bear!" sang Juliet in a very high, quavering voice.

"As do I," breathed Miranda in her most seductive tone of voice.

"Me too!" grinned Ginny. All four girls held out their scraps of parchment with their horrible messages. Harry groaned in despair. All his hard work to win Ginny back -- utterly wasted!

Please Review! And thanks for the reviews:)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Hermione went down to the Great Hall to eat breakfast. Ron was still asleep. She had not thanked Ron yet for the perfume, and she wanted to get it back from Peeves first. Then she could thank him while she was wearing it! How romantic! She concentrated on her breakfast. Eating alone was boring. She grabbed a couple of slices of toast and left the Great Hall to see Harry. The minute she left, Peeves zoomed in clutching the perfume…

xx

Harry read the letters that were being forced upon him. They scared him instead of inspiring love (except maybe Ginny's). He could see why Professor Slughorn thought that love potions were so powerful. The girls were all clustered around him, eyes brimming with blind devotion and manic obsession.

"Er…" said Harry awkwardly, "They're really good. These poems are really quite clever."

"Really? You really think so?" asked Ophelia in a very flattered tone. A delicate shade of rose tinted her cheeks, and her eyes glistened with tears of joy.

"Really," replied Harry, a note of impatience in his voice.

"Really really? I mean you really don't think Juliet's is better? Or Ginny's? Or Miranda's?"

"Er…" mumbled Harry yet again. The other girls were glaring daggers at him, awaiting his judgment.

"They're all great," sighed Harry, finally.

"Really really?" gasped all four girls. "Do you really mean that? Do you think mine is really that good?" Harry groaned. He wanted to die. He should have let Vodemort finish him when he had the chance.

"Really."

"Really really? I mean do you really think so? Like really really?"

"Yes. Really _really_."

"Like what kind of really? Like really like you really mean really? Or really like you don't really mean really?" Harry's patience was beginning to wear thin.

"It's great _ok_? Now stop bothering me! I'm tired!" growled Harry. He instantly realized his mistake. The four pairs of eyes began to glisten, and four bottom lips were trembling uncontrollably.

"I'm really sorry! Are we really bothering you? We'll leave!" quavered Juliet.

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm just kind of tired," muttered Harry. He closed his eyes halfway, and feigned weakness. "I need my rest," he croaked.

"Oh Harry! I'm so sorry! This is all my fault! If only I can make up for it!" wailed Ginny. She began to sob over Harry's broken and bandaged body. It looked just like a touching scene from a movie. Harry pretended to deteriorate even more. He tried to muster up a sick, blank look in his eyes. All four girls clutched their hearts in misery.

"No Ginny, don't feel bad. I'll be fine," rasped Harry dramatically. "I just need my rest." Harry rolled his eyeballs up into his head, then closed his eyes in slow motion for what seemed like the last time…

"Oh Harry! Please don't leave us! Don't leave _me_!" cried the four girls in unison. A loud scream of anguish broke forth from their lips! A second scream of horror came from the next bed over. It was Colin Creevey! Harry began to snore.

"Surely it can't be true!" wailed Colin, "The noble Harry Potter cannot be dead!"

"O' woe is me!" lamented Ophelia, "Harry has passed on to the great sea beyond the clouds, to leave eternally in a land of paradise and flying silver pigs!" Harry snorted a few times and tried to roll over, but the best he could do was direct his eyelids to a different spot on the ceiling.

"He shall live on forever in our hearts and minds!" declared Juliet, trying to smile bravely through her torrent of tears.

"He'll see his mother and father again, at least," grieved Miranda. Harry sucked up a sliver of spit from the corner of his open mouth.

"He shall never awaken in our world again," sighed Ginny. Harry's eyebrow twitched a couple of times. He continued to pretend to be asleep. "We must build an altar to him in reverence to this fallen hero."

"Yes. Now let us pluck up this divine pair of Harry's socks from his immortal belly and place it in a place of prominence," proclaimed Ophelia through her waterlogged face. She snatched the lurid socks that Dobby had made, and that Harry had never worn off of Harry's white and bandaged stomach. A sigh of relief escaped Harry's lips. The socks were finally off his hands! He could still feel their burn through his eyelids.

"I should like to worship at the temple that you will erect in his honor," said Colin from his hospital bed.

"Then you must join our sacred Sisterhood. Only high priestesses may worship at our holy temple," declaimed Miranda. "In your case, if you do join, we'll make it a Brotherhood and a Sisterhood and you can be a high priest."

"Ok!" beamed Colin, "When can I start?"

"Right after you get out of those bandages!" Ginny smiled at his enthusiasm. "I can see now that you are another Harry-shipper. Let us be friends and rejoice in the existence of other Harry-shipians."

"Right-o!" hollered Colin. In his bliss, he tore himself free from the hardened cocoon of bandages, fully healed and ready to function. "Take me with you! A miracle has happened today thanks to the Great Harry Potter!" With a majestic leap, Colin sprang rejuvenated from the bed.

"Oh Colin! You are just too cool! I can tell that you are a prophet of Harry Potter's! Please! I beg of you to go on a date with me to Hogsmeade next vacation!" yelled Ginny. She grasped Colin's hands earnestly in her own. He was a full head shorter than she was, but did she care? No! Colin was a believer, and so was she. As far as she knew, that was good enough.

Another miracle happened.

Harry bolted up from the bed despite his injuries and former paralysis. "WHAAAT?"

"Oh Harry! You're alive! Please bless our joyful union!"

xx

A Ravenclaw girl calmly ate her breakfast. She was deep in thought about the crossword puzzle in the Daily Prophet. She had already finished the Sudoku in five minutes, even though its toughness level was five stars. She chewed slowly and thought for a while. _An uncontrollable spirit of chaos, _she thought. This one had her stumped.Suddenly, she heard an insane cackling. _A poltergeist!_

Peeves rushed in! He was carrying a horrible bottle containing a foul yellow substance. It was most likely urine! Quickly, all of the Hogwarts students protected their slices of toast under their bodies. Some even made a futile dash for the exit. Others tried to dive beneath the tables, but they were all too late! Much too late! Overwhelmingly late! Peeves unleashed a massive spray of the odious fluid all over the Great Hall. It came out in a lovely mist, but smelled horrendous! Exactly like skunk underwear! Every student and every teacher inhaled…

A drop of yellow liquid.

There was a moment of bewilderment on everyone's faces. A second later, their faces snapped into focus, and a ray of pure, beautiful sunlight bathed students and teachers alike, while a chorus of heavenly angels began to sing in the background.

Exalted cries of "Ron Weasley" erupted all over the Great Hall!

xx

Ron rolled over a couple of times. The bloody sun was too bloody bright! He couldn't sleep any longer. He had to wake up. Ron wondered what time it was. By the looks of the empty dorm room, it was probably afternoon.

Ron stumbled out of bed. _Where's Harry, _he wondered. Then he remembered. Harry was in the hospital wing, probably surrounded by endless amounts of candy and tons of fan girls. Truth to be told, Ron was insanely jealous of Harry's fame, though he did not want to admit it to himself. He was not in touch with his emotions. Ron felt frustrated that he could never stand out among his tons of brothers and peers. To make matters worse, he stood in the shadow of the Great Harry Potter, the Chosen One!

Ron fumbled about for a set of robes. He put it on, and the hem barely got passed his knees. He looked as disheveled as Mundungus, with a capital D-U-N-G! It seemed that Ron had grown another foot during the night. He would have to write home for another set, though he doubted he would get one. His mother would most likely be unable to afford it. This was another aspect that Ron hated about his life! He wished his parents had a bit more money! Ron staggered into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, than ran his fingers quickly through his hair. There was no point in making an effort to look nice; girls would not notice him anyway. The redhead was feeling extremely deflated at the moment. He would always be second, third, fourth, fifth, but never first. He would never ever be at the top. He would never be famous, and he would never have the instant popularity that he so longed for. Never ever ever…

Ron blinked his eyes to get rid of the disgusting crust that had formed over them during the night. Then, he rubbed his mouth a bit. A crust had developed there as well, because he had been drooling. He really was not attractive. Ron was as gruesome in appearance as an unshaven hag. All that he had going for him was his height, but that was about it. Ron wondered if any girl would ever like him. He doubted it. Perhaps girls like Eloise Midgen would, but Ron had really high standards. He only dated good-looking girls, but no good-looking girls would date him. Lavender Brown was an exception, but she wasn't good-looking in Ron's opinion. Besides, she was a slut! And he never liked her anyway. He just used her to assure himself that he was a man, and the girls liked him, but now that he thought back on it, Lavender liked him only because he was the Chosen One's best friend! How demeaning! That strumpet!

Ron was deathly hungry. He decided to go down to the Great Hall for some lunch. Then, maybe, he'd go see Harry if the line wasn't too long. Hermione was probably already at Harry's bedside. Ron felt a pang of jealously at this, but he shrugged it off. He left the dorm… Was it his imagination or were people singing "Weasley is the King" in the distance? Perhaps it was that untrustworthy mind of his again…


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own Shakespeare.

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Chapter 10

"Let's start on our Harry Potter shrine this minute!" cried Ophelia enthusiastically.

"But…but…" sputtered Harry. He still had not recovered from shock. "Ginny, don't you love me?"

"Of course I love you! We all love you! That's why we're creating a Harry Potter shrine!" laughed Ginny.

"But you just asked Colin out!" burst Harry.

"That's different! I think he's great boyfriend material! And besides, I can't date you! I love you too much! You're too good for me! That's why I'm putting you up on a pedestal while I date someone my own rank!" explained Ginny. "Also, he's a suitable match for me! We both love you, and we will both worship you together! Our lives are devoted to you!"

"Ginny! You're so lucky that you were able to find someone just perfect for you!" sighed Juliet, "My ideal man would be a Harry-shipian and who will accompany me to the Harry Potter shrine every day for the rest of my life until I die!"

"Don't any of you want to date _me_?" asked Harry rather desperately.

"We want to do more than that! We want to worship you! We want to kiss the ground you walk on! We want to throw rose petals in your path! We want breathe the air that you breathe, and we want to revel in the golden glory that you exude! Honor us with your presence!" cried Miranda rapturously. She dropped to her knees and gazed upward at Harry, who was lying stiffly on his hospital bed. Sitting up in shock at Ginny's announcement had really overstrained him, and he hurt all over.

"Although," grinned Juliet, "I really wouldn't mind a kiss from you!" She leaned disturbingly close to Harry.

"Me too!" yelled Colin and Ginny fervently.

"As do I!" announced Ophelia. Miranda nodded her head vigorously. All five Harry-shipians leaned close and puckered up…

Harry's eyes rolled up into his head, and he collapsed in a dead faint. He had finally reached his breaking point!

"Well that was a disappointment," remarked Ginny, "I really wanted a kiss from him. He also forgot to bless me and Colin."

"Bummer," squeaked Colin, "I wanted a picture of him kissing me." The other three worshippers sighed at their mischance. They had been so close!

Just then, Madame Pomfrey came in.

"Visiting time is over! Out! _Out_!" she was about to shove them out of the Hospital Wing when she spotted Colin. Her eyes grew very large, and she began to puff up. Her face started to turn a ruddy color.

"What are you doing out of bed?" she snarled, "You girls, out! Look what you have done to my patient! He is not healed yet!" Madam Pomfrey was beginning to rant.

"Colin!" shouted Ginny as Madam Pomfrey snatched Colin from her grasp.

"Ginny!" shrieked Colin. His hand was groping fruitlessly for Ginny from under Madam Pomfrey's arm.

"Colin! I'll save you!" hollered Ginny. She dove toward Colin. Ginny reached out toward Colin's flailing hand and grasped it within her own. The two students held on to each other firmly. With a massive yank, Ginny managed to tear Colin from Madam Pomfrey's tight embrace.

"NOOOOOOO!" shrieked Madam Pomfrey furiously. She began to stomp after Ginny, bellowing angrily like a giant yodeling a mating call. Unfortunately, she tripped over Harry's bed and fell on top of the unfortunate boy. Luckily, he was still unconscious, which saved him A LOT of pain. Madam Pomfrey had broken some more of Harry's bones! However, she gave up her pursuit of Ginny and Colin to tend to her patient.

"Oh Harry! He's dying!" sobbed Ophelia, looking back over her shoulder as she escaped with Ginny and Colin.

"That uncoordinated bicorn!" screeched Miranda angrily, "We shall avenge the noble Harry Potter's death!"

"Yes!" agreed Juliet, "Let us go back to the common room and plan our revenge! We can also build our sacred temple to him!"

"Oh, I do hate to leave his body behind!" sobbed Colin sorrowfully, "Harry is too beautiful to fester away in that Hospital Wing! Why can't we keep his bones at our soon-to-be altar?"

"I agree! Why should we leave that awe-inspiring example of divine beauty to be mauled by that chimaera?" lamented Ophelia.

"Well we must!" hiccoughed Ginny through her stream of tears, "I love Harry, but I don't want to lose my friends!"

"How sweet!" Miranda smiled through her tears. "But we'll come back for him later! That darling! I hope he's up in heaven, dancing with his parents and Dumbledore to the sound of a golden bagpipe! Oh, how I do wish that I was up there with him!" She crumpled to the ground and began to sob violently. The rest of the Harry-shipians followed suit.

"Oh Harry!" they lamented, "Oh Harry, Harry, Harry…"

xx

Hermione entered the Hospital Wing. She located Madame Pomfrey.

"Madame Pomfrey! I'm hear to see Harry please!" she said.

"No! Harry is gravely injured! He cannot see anyone at the moment!" Madam Pomfrey failed to mention that she was the one who had crushed his healing bones.

"Oh please! I haven't seen him for ages!" begged Hermione, even though she had seen him just yesterday. She mustered up a single tear to glisten in her eye. She looked up appealingly at Madam Pomfrey.

Madam Pomfrey's stern face began to soften.

"Alright! But mind you don't disturb him!" she warned. Hermione rushed to Harry's side, and her face turned grave at how large his full body cast had become. She plunked herself down at Harry's bedside.

Harry peeked out from under his half-closed eyelids. He sighed with relief. It was only Hermione.

"Hey Hermione," mumbled Harry groggily.

"Harry! How are you feeling?" Hermione peered with worry into his bruised face.

"Numb," replied Harry. "I can't move a finger. Where's Ron?"

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Still sleeping I suppose. He always sleeps in on Sundays. I wanted to thank him for the perfume that he gave me, but Peeves took it!" She scowled darkly. "Just wait till I get my hands on him!"

Harry lurched straight up into a sitting position for the second time that day!

"WHAT?" he screamed. He began to flail about in agitation. Madame Pomfrey came over to see what was wrong.

"I told you not to disturb him!" yelled Madam Pomfrey at Hermione. "Now look what you've done! I'll have to reset his bones again!"

"No! No! I'm fine! Really!" cried Harry. "Just let me speak to her for a while longer!"

Madam Pomfrey glared down at Harry. "Fine, but only if you promise not to overstrain yourself!"

"Ok! Ok! I promise!" said Harry, trying to keep his voice calm. He wanted to tear off the cast and run after Peeves, but his body was still too weak. Hermione looked curiously at Harry.

"What's wrong?" she queried.

"Er…" groaned Harry. He didn't know what to do! If he told Hermione about the love potion, she'd be furious at him! But this was an urgent matter! He decided to spit.

"Well… this is what happened…"

A few minutes later, another "WHAT!" could be heard echoing down the corridors.

xx

Ginny finally stopped crying. "Let's get back to the Common Room. We shall build our shrine."

"No!" cried Juliet passionately, "I have nothing to live for without Harry Potter! Oh happy dagger! My body shall be your sheath! There rust and let me die!"

"Oh Juliet! You mustn't!" wailed Miranda in horror. "We must live on in Harry's memory! He would not have wanted it to end this way! Please, for the love of the divine Potter, live!"

Ophelia stood up and began to warble a horrible song. She swayed unsteadily.

_"He is dead and gone, lady,_

_He is dead and gone;_

_At his head a grass-green turf,_

_At his heels a stone."_

"Pretty Ophelia!" squeaked Colin, "What nonsense do you sing? Do stop! I pray you!" Ophelia ignored him and continued.

_"With his shroud as the mountain snow,_

_Larded with sweet flowers_

_Which bewept to the grave did go_

_With true-love showers."_

"O, this is the poison of deep grief; it springs from our lover's death. O Ginny, Ginny, what shall we do now?" bawled Miranda.

"I think she's insane," said Ginny. "Let's take them back to the dormitories. I am about to go mad myself!" Ginny, Colin, and Miranda managed to support Ophelia and Juliet as they slowly and laboriously made their way to the portrait hole.

xx

Ron stumbled down the staircase. The Common Room was empty, but he could definitely hear strains of "Weasley is our King" coming through the portrait hole.

"What now?" groaned Ron sadly. They were making fun of him again! He wanted to go back to bed and hide under the covers. His ears turned red. The music grew louder as whoever was singing it came closer. Ron could also hear many feet stomping along to the rhythm of it.

_Sounds like the whole school's in it _sighed Ron. His heart beat furiously as he was frozen in place with terror. Where the heck was Hermione? She was the only one who could help him through this!

The singing grew very loud. A base drum boomed along with it in the distance. Ron's knees began to shake. He shivered in horror! What new monstrosity was this? What did they have planned for him? He truly wanted to die!

Suddenly, the wall with the portrait hole buckled. It sounded like the whole school was throwing themselves against it. It buckled again! Cold sweat ran in rivets down Ron's face. He could not move! He wanted to run, but his knees were locked in place. Ron gulped shakily, and his Adam's apple bobbed furiously.

The portrait hole burst open! It revealed hundreds of students and teachers alike, all singing "Weasley is our King"! Ron opened his mouth in a silent scream.

But Ron noticed a difference. The lyrics were different! A couple of students tumbled in, and when they saw Ron, they broke into song, anew.

_Weasley is pretty like spring_

_His voice makes our hearts ping_

_That's why we loudly sing_

_Weasley is our king_

_Weasley was born in heaven_

_He's our lucky number seven_

_His face deserves an eleven_

_Weasley is our king_

_Weasley is our King_

_Weasley is our King_

_Weasley's the wind beneath our wing_

_Weasley is our King_

Ron gaped in astonishment. What was happening here?

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	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Hermione hurried down the castle's corridors, in search of Peeves. She had to do something before it was too late, but she had no idea that it was already too late! Hermione stopped for a minute and wondered where Peeves would be. Perhaps Nearly Headless Nick would know! But then, where would Nearly Headless Nick be? Hermione pondered for a moment. She decided that her best chance would be to wander the halls aimlessly until she ran into—or rather ran through—Nearly Headless Nick. However, instead of meeting the Gryffindor ghost, she happened upon Ginny and co.

"Ginny? What's going on?" asked Hermione, watching her heave Ophelia and Juliet along.

"Well," gasped Ginny breathlessly, "Ophelia and Juliet aren't really in their right minds right now. We just witnessed Harry get killed by Madame Pomfrey!" Tears stung her eyes.

"Harry isn't dead! He's just severely injured!" replied Hermione. Colin gave a little shriek of happiness.

"He isn't? I'm so happy! Oh Ginny, did you hear what Hermione said? Harry isn't dead! Harry isn't dead! Harry isn't dead!" Colin let go of Juliet and began to dance an ungainly little dance. Miranda let go of the other side of Juliet, who fell to the ground with a loud thump, and joined Colin's dancing.

"Harry isn't dead! Harry isn't dead!" they chanted happily, and stamped their feet. Then, they shook their buttocks a few times and beat their chests like trolls.

"Oh Hermione! That's the best news I've heard in a while!" sighed Ginny. Tears of joy poured out of her eyes. She dropped Ophelia and clapped her hands in delight.

"What's wrong with these two?" questioned Hermione, prodding Juliet with her toe.

"They're kind of insane and unconscious right now, but I'm sure they'll recover once they find out that Harry isn't dead!" giggled Ginny deliriously. Her head was spinning at this new development.

"Fine, well, we better take them up to the dormitories," said Hermione calmly. She was a bit unsettled by Colin and Miranda's strange dance, but she knew that it was the effects of the love potion that was causing this. Harry would pay later!

Hermione flicked her wand, causing Ophelia and Juliet to levitate, and they floated along behind her as she, Ginny, Colin, and Miranda made their way to the fat lady's portrait. For some strange reason, the entire school appeared to be crowded around that area and singing loudly.

"What's going on?" wondered Ginny. "You don't think there's been an attack or something!"

"I don't think so," muttered Hermione dubiously, "They seem to be singing something. I can't really tell what. A lot of these people are off-tune!"

Miranda cocked her head intently.

"It sounds familiar!"

"Oh! I know what it is!" exclaimed Colin in surprise, "They're singing 'Weasley is Our King'!"

Hermione gasped in dismay.

"Oh, poor Ron! I wonder how he's handling it!" Hermione rushed headlong into the singing crowd and tried to shove her way through it, but to no avail. She was immediately pushed out again!

"Wait your turn!" scowled a Slytherin boy nastily.

"Wait my turn for what?" pondered Hermione bewildered. Suddenly, the singing became more in tune, and a path cleared in the middle of the vast mob as students scooted out of the way so that someone could walk through.

"What's going on?" inquired Miranda. In all her six years of Hogwarts, she had never seen anything like it!

"Listen to the lyrics!" cried Hermione, who was completely awestruck. The six Gryffindors cocked their ears, and tried to discern the words.

"Weasley is pretty like spring? His voice makes our hearts ping?" repeated Ginny disbelievingly. She looked like she was about to vomit!

"Weasley was born in heaven? He's our lucky number seven?" squawked Hermione with disgust. She immediately recognized the work of the love potion. Harry was _soooo_ dead! Presently, Ron came striding down the path that had been cleared for him. He seemed to have adapted well to fame! There was a conceited, though slightly astounded, look on his face, and he kept tousling his hair. A couple of people conjured up flowers to throw into his path, and Professor Flitwick caused a little rainbow to form over Ron's head. Everyone was singing the "Weasley is Our King" song in a very reverent manner, and a band made up of an odd assortment of instruments stepped forward to play.

"Ron—" said Hermione as Ron swaggered past her. His arrogance reminded her of the time when they were in their fifth year, and Ron had performed remarkably well during a Quidditch game. Ron paused and smirked at her in a condescending sort of way.

"Yea?" he said carelessly, with a bit of smugness mixed into it. Hermione was absolutely revolted. She glared at him.

"Ron, you're being absolutely ridiculous!" admonished Hermione. Ginny just stared in shock at the monster her lowly brother had become!

"Don't be jealous now," grinned Ron. Girls swooned left and right. "If you want, which you probably do, I'll let you go on a date with me in Hogsmeade." His adoring fans gasped in dismay, and stared at Hermione like they hoped she'd be gored by a manticorn and stampeded by a hundred centaurs. Hermione's face turned extremely red.

"Not with you, you arrogant git," snapped Hermione. With a final huff, she flipped her bushy brown hair over her shoulder and with a majestic sweep of her robes, she stomped away like a rampaging skrewt. Her dramatic exit was ruined by the fact that Ophelia and Juliet were still levitating after her. Ron stared in shock while his admirers murmured in astonishment and resentment.

"What did I do wrong now? I was just trying to ask her out!" he gaped indignantly. He gestured in confusion at Hermione's retreating back, and stared appealingly in Ginny's direction. She and her friends scowled back, and with a swish of their robes, they departed as well. Ron was left staring after them, looking gormless. He self-consciously flattened his hair and waved angrily away a couple of first-year boys who were trying to put a robe and crown on him. He spun around on his heel and stormed back into the common room, still being pursued by the warbling crowd. The rainbow over his head became a storm cloud that rained mercilessly on him.

xx

The next day, which was a Monday, school resumed as normal, except now Ron had an escort that consisted of the whole school. Hermione refused to speak to him, and Harry was still in the hospital wing. Everyone sat down at the Great Hall to eat breakfast, and they all wanted to sit at the Gryffindor table, next to Ron. Hermione, Ginny, Colin, Miranda, Ophelia, and Juliet (who had both recovered from their grief after seeing Harry briefly in the Hospital Wing) were forced to sit at the Slytherin table. This was perfectly fine with them, as it was completely empty since most of the usual occupants were gathered amorously around Ron.

"Doesn't that sight just make you sick?" grumped Ginny. She regarded Ron from across the hall with slightly narrowed eyes.

"I refuse to speak about that jerk," stated Hermione with a toss of her bushy hair. She chomped with unnecessary violence into her toast. Ron appeared to be adamantly refusing to glance in Hermione's direction as well. He was chatting happily with an abominable sort of smugness on his face. Ron kept reaching up to muss his hair, and he grinned an awful grin in what he supposed was a charming smile. His worshippers collapsed all over the place, and some clutched their hearts dramatically. The teachers had managed to restrain themselves, and sat in their usual seats even though they kept sneaking glances in Ron's direction. Professor Mcgonagall stood up to make a speech.

"The faculty and I have decided that we needed a change of our school song. It has been the same one ever since this school was founded, and we think that it has become rather dull." Mcgonagall paused for a moment to flutter her eyelashes in Ron's direction. Hermione and co. turned their faces away with expressions of utmost revulsion. The Headmistress continued.

"The new song shall be 'Weasley is Our King,' and instead of singing it in the beginning of every school year, we shall sing it at the beginning of every day!" The Great Hall erupted in cheers and applause.

"Now, let us begin!" All the students stood up, except Hermione and her friends, and turned to face Ron. With their hands over their hearts, they began to vocalize in awful, off-tune voices, and joy, pride, and love shone from each and everyone's faces. Ron's ears had turned red, but he made an effort to look self-assured, and even managed to muster up a bit of a smirk. Hermione was furious.

The rest of the day passed beautifully for Ron. Girls hung off his arms as he pranced down the halls, and in every class, teachers willingly gave him Oustanding's followed by a large number of plus signs. Professor Flitwick squeaked in excitement when he called out Ron's name, and repeated it about five times just for the heck of it. Ron was a bit disgusted when Professor Slughorn kept putting his arm around him, and when Professor Mcgonagall licked her lips every time she looked at him, but other than that, his day was mostly blissful. However, Hermione sniffed and turned away every time she passed him in the corridors, and refused to even spare him one glance during the classes they had together. Ron tried to keep this from bothering him. After all, with all this popularity in his hands, what more could he wish for? Although, he did wonder why everyone suddenly seemed to be fawning over him. Ron, like the idiot he was, assumed that his superior Quidditch skills had endeared everyone to him. It was, nevertheless, disconcerting to have the whole school present and present during Quidditch practice, but with his newfound confidence, his training went remarkably well.

xx

After classes, Hermione spent the rest of the day lurking in the library. Ginny and her friends started on the shrine in the empty Gryffindor Common Room (everyone was clustered around Ron), after visiting Harry again. They started out with Harry's lurid pair of socks as a centerpiece, and pinned it to the wall. Then, they surrounded it with the many pictures of Harry that Colin possessed. Many of them were unsatisfactory, however, as they mostly showed Harry glowering out of the frame or just an arm sticking out. An empty table sat underneath the socks and pictures, and an equally empty cabinet stood by.

"I think it needs something more," remarked Ginny, stepping back. She eyed the many blanks spaces in the shrine critically.

"We need some more of Harry's stuff," stated Miranda.

"Why don't we run up to his room and grab some of his clothes?" grinned Ophelia mischievously. She seemed to like the thought a lot.

"Good idea!" smirked Juliet in an equally alarming way.

"You two aren't going without me!" cried Ginny. The five Harry-shipians stampeded up the staircase to the boys' dorms. They tumbled into Harry's vacant room, and began to rummage through his trunk.

"Oh! Look at what I found!" gushed Miranda. She held up a pair of Harry's boxers. It was green and decorated with pictures of his own face.

"Wow! Harry Potter boxers! He must have bought it at that one shop on Diagon Alley! They sell all these clothes with his picture on it!" gasped Ophelia.

"Gimme that! I want it!" cried Juliet, trying to snatch it out of Miranda's grip. Miranda held on firmly.

"I found it first!" she snarled.

"Girls! Don't fight! There's plenty more over here!" grinned Ginny. She held up three more pairs of boxers.

"A perfect addition to our shrine!" yelled Colin joyfully, "I even found a Sneakascope and his Firebolt and a couple of strands of his hairs!"

"Wonderful! Let's go down and complete our shrine right this minute!" cried Ginny exuberantly. The five fans tumbled down the stairs, exhilarated by their finds, and rushed over to their altar to fill it up with stuff! Lots and lots of stuff!

xx

In the library, Hermione plotted what to do next…  
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	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Harry lay in the Hospital Wing and sighed. He felt extremely neglected. No one had bothered to visit him! Only Ginny and her friends did, but that was because of the love potion. Hermione did drop in for about two minutes, but Harry wanted to see Ron. Ron wasn't boring like Hermione. Harry was planning to confess to Ron about the love potion, before Peeves did something horrible with it. However, Ron had come in yet. Hagrid did not either.Harry resented them for that andvowed to remember it forever, so that if one day Ron were to lie dying at his feet and begging for help, Harry could bring up this moment. Then Ron would die, consumed by guilt. Sweet vengeance!Harry looked at the clock. Visiting hours were over. No one had sent him any chocolate today, or any other sweets. Harry expected more, him being the Chosen One and all, but he was sadly disappointed. The poor boy had been utterly forsaken! Harry needed to see Ron NOW or else he would die from anxiety. He wanted to tell Ron about the potion as soon as possible!This love potion business was extremely urgent! Who knew… it could be too late by now…

Suddenly, the door burst open! Sound erupted into the Hospital Wing! A crowd, headed by a violently redheaded person, tumbled in. The mob was singing uproariously to—could it be—"Weasley is Our King"!

"Hey Harry!" grinned Ron, smirking slightly. His face was pink and his hair was extremely mussed. Parts of his robes were slightly torn as well.

"Wha--?" yelled Harry bewilderedly. "Aren't visiting hours over?"

"Well mate," replied Ron, "I got a signed note from Professor McGonagall, Hagrid, Professor Slughorn, Professor Flitwick, Professor Sprout, and Professor Sinistra. Except I had to give them each a signature of my own of course."

Harry still could not fully comprehend what Ron was saying.

"Er… all those teachers gave you a signed note just to see me?" puzzled Harry.

"Hey, I don't know why! But you should have seen them! They were all clambering over each other just to hand the note to me first!" Ron shrugged his shoulders indifferently and grinned at Harry again. The crowd behind him was pressing in rather close, and Harry was beginning to feel dizzy. He hoped Madame Pomfrey would come and shoo them out. Then, it dawned on Harry. It was the love potion!

"Ron, could I speak to you privately for a minute?" muttered Harry out of the corner of his mouth.

"Sure mate!" laughed Ron cheerfully. This was the most pleasant Ron that Harry had seen in a while. Harry almost felt sorry about what he was going to do next. Ron turned around and climbed onto the chair next to Harry's bed so that the people in the back of the huge mass of people could see him as well.

"May I have your attention please?" bellowed Ron. The crowd immediately stopped their singing and listened attentively to what their idol had to say. "Could all of you please leave the Hospital Wing for a minute? I want to talk to my best mate alone please!"

"But I thought we were your best mate!" pouted a Slytherin girl near the front. Ron smiled indulgently down at her.

"Oh, but you are! Except I need some private time with my other best mates!"

"Will you spend some private time with me after?" blushed a Hufflepuff girl shyly.

"Sure, sure," beamed Ron magnanimously. He spread his arms wide. "I'll spend private time with each and every one of you!" The swarming throng cheered, and stampeded out of the door. The door wasn't big enough, so some misfortunate people had to go through the walls. They left a flattened Madame Pomfrey behind. She lay still on the ground with footprints all over her back, and groaned softly. Then she went limp. Ron got off the chair with an energetic bound and turned to Harry, with a smug look on his face. Harry felt it ought to be fined. Ron truly resembled Percy whenever he smirked like that.

"Ron," began Harry hesitantly, "Do you have any idea why the whole school seems to love you?" Ron appeared confused by this question.

"Er… because I'm good at Quidditch?" Ron looked at Harry. "Do you know why?"

"Yes," replied Harry, "And it isn't because of Quidditch." He took a deep breath, "It's because of a love potion!"

"LOVE POTION?" gaped Ron in shock. He stared at Harry, willing him to say that it was a joke, that it wasn't true, and that the school loved him because he was lovable.

"Yea…" said Harry, and he told Ron the whole story. When he had finished, Ron had sunk down into the chair and buried his freckled face into his hands. He was utterly desolate and deflated!No one truly loved him! He really was unlovable! His worst fears were confirmed. He was nothing compared to _the_ Harry Potter, the Chosen One, the man with a thousand admirers! Nothing! He was nothing! He was absolutely nothing! Oh poor Ron!

"I think I'll be going to bed now, Harry," mumbled Ron. He turned and left the hospital wing without sparing Harry a single glance. Ron shrugged off his massive gaggle of devoted admirers who were waiting outside, and shuffled up to the dormitories, utterly broken. Catching sight of the Harry Potter shrine in the Common Room did not help either!

xx

Hermione rushed to the Hospital Wing to tell Harry her idea! It was a great idea! It was actually quite brilliant! She just couldn't wait to tell! She ran straight into the hospital wing. She didn't even have to knock because there was a huge chunk of wall missing where the door used to be! She didn't even have to get past Madame Pomfrey either because Madame Pomfrey was unconscious and dirty and icky on the ground! Hermione couldn't wait to tell Harry her wonderful, ingenious idea! With her bushy hair puffing out behind her like the plumage of a frazzled turkey, she sped to Harry's bedside.

"Harry! Harry!" gasped Hermione fervently. She reminded Harry of Colin. "I just had the most brilliant idea! I know how we can solve the problem about the love potion! You've heard of what happened to the school haven't you?" Harry nodded his head wordlessly. He was still feeling extremely sorry about Ron.

"Anyway," continued Hermione, still somewhat breathless, "I can brew an antidote and put it in a perfume bottle, and spray the whole school in the face! It might take a while, but it'll be better than brewing everyone an individual cup of it!"

"Yeah," replied Harry absently. He wasn't really listening.

"You aren't really listening are you Harry?" asked Hermione. She looked at him closely. "Is something bothering you? Did something go wrong with Ginny?"

"No… It's just that I told Ron about the love potion too and— " Hermione cut him off.

"—He's feeling depressed about the whole thing isn't he?" Harry nodded wordlessly. Hermione turned and fled, much like the way Ron did a few minutes earlier. She didn't even look back at Harry, or say goodbye. She had to get to Ron!

xx

Ginny watched Hermione thunder up the staircase to the boys' dormitories.

"What's she doing?" whispered Ginny.

"I don't know," muttered Ophelia quietly, "maybe she's going to see your brother. I never knew she was like that!"

"Maybe she's getting her homework back from Ron," suggested Miranda. "Who cares. Anyway,I'm framing my pair of Harry's boxers! Look! Doesn't it look great?" Miranda held up the undergarment in the frame.

"Cool! I'm pinning mine up next to my bed!" yelled Juliet.

"I'm going to fold mine up and stick it under my pillow!" giggled Ophelia. Hermione was quickly forgotten.

"Back to work! Back to work! Our shrine isn't quite finished yet!" hollered Colin. The other four Harry fans quickly turned around and began to paste wallpaper with "The Chosen One" written all over it in bright, flashing colors. The worked in peace for a while, occasionally breaking into songs of praise about Harry Potter. The shrine looked great! A huge portrait of Harry hung in the middle, striking heroic poses, and underneath his massive chin, a pair of lurid, mismatched socks were pinned. A table sat before the portrait, covered in various Harry Potter objects and pictures. Next to it was a cabinet, also filled with Harry's posessions. The Harry Potter Club stood back to admire their work.

Unexpectedly, the portrait hole burst open in the middle of their decorating. Lavender and Parvati, who were arguing furiously, stomped in.

"He's mine I tell you!" screamed Parvati.

"No! He's mine! He snogged me last year! We dated! He's my boyfriend!" retorted Lavender.

"He WAS your boyfriend," yelled Parvati, "But he dumped you because you're an ugly old hag!"

"Am not!" shrieked Lavender angrily. She whipped out her wand. "I don't know what kind of delusion you're having, but Ron still has feelings for me and he would never want to date you! Not in a million years!" Parvati whipped out her wand as well.

"You're the one who's deluded! Didn't you see the way he looked at me when he said that he'd meet with each of us in private? And he's probably in love with me because he went to the Yule Ball with my twin sister, who looks exactly like me you know!"

"That was what—three years ago? He's gotten over your sister already okay? So stay away from him! He's mine!" shot back Lavender. The Harry Potter Club watched fascinated, waiting to see what the two girls would do next.

"Hey! What are you looking at?" howled Parvati at Ginny and co. Lavender turned furiously to the Harry-shipians as well.

"Stop looking at us! Stop it! Stop! Your stares are ruining my skin!" screeched Lavender. She covered her face as if she were warding off a vampire. The Harry-shipians stared even more. The two girls were obviously insane! The heat of their argument had boiled their brains!

"Don't look at us like we're mad! Because we're not! Stop! Stop!" bawled Parvati. She raised her wand and took a threatening step toward the five innocent bystanders.

"What are those atrocities behind you? Is that Harry Potter's face I see? Take it off! Take it off! Only Ron's face may belong there!" screamed Lavender.

"Don't call my Ronnikins so familiarly! He's Weasley to you!" yelled Parvati. She turned to the Harry Potter fans. "And you blokes! Get rid of that monstrosity of a shrine! I'll show you true beauty! I'm going to replace it with Ronniwobble's handsome widdle face!"

"Don't you dare touch our shrine!" cried Colin squeakily. He positioned himself, with arms spread apart, in front of the Harry Potter altar.

"Colin! You're so brave!" sighed Ginny. "I'll help you!" She drew her wand and stood herself next to Colin.

"You want a fight? Is that it?" shrilled Lavender. She pointed her wand at Ginny.

"We'll help you!" cried Ophelia, Miranda, and Juliet simultaneously. "Expelliarmus!" they cried in unison. Lavender and Parvati's wands flew out of their hands. With a bestial shriek, Lavender ran toward the Harry Potter shrine and began to tear it down.

"No!" screamed the Harry-shipians in horror. Then ran forward and tried to pull Lavender off. Lavender could not be moved, and continued to claw haphazardly at the wallpaper. Parvati joined her as well, and threw Harry's beloved Sneakascope onto the ground. Then, she ripped a pair of boxers to shreds. Miranda broke away from the scuffle and began to sob over the remains of her most precious possession. She stood up and threw herself at Parvati.

"Watch the hairs!" warned Colin, but too late. The thin strands of Harry's hair were lost in the brawl. He gave a howl far worse than that of a bloodthirsty werewolf, and began to pummel random people left and right. Ophelia gave an ear-piercing screech of pain as Colin's fist collided with her ear. She turned and kicked him soundly in the shin. Colin stumbled backward, and crashed into one of the cabinets holding Harry Potter items. It tipped over, and all of the objects inside began to slide off. The Firebolt, and various many other heavy bits plummeted, and hit Ginny right on the head…

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I'm almost done with this fanfic! Yay!

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	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Jane Eyre.

Chapter 13

Ginny woke up in the hospital wing. _What am I doing here_ she wondered. It was dark, and it seemed very late at night. She could see the full moon shining brightly in the window. She reached up and felt her head. It hurt a lot for some reason. Suddenly, she remembered what had happened, and everything before that. Ginny sat up and stared desolately into the darkness.

"How could I have hurt my darling like that? Oh Harry… Harry…" She sobbed quietly into the night. Ginny looked through tearstained eyes at the moon. _Wherever he is, Harry's looking at the same moon,_ thought Ginny romantically. Suddenly, she heard a strange, bestial moan. Ginny started. _Is it a ghoul? Is it a restless spirit? Is it just my imagination?_

The horrible moaning started up again. This time, she could hear her name.

"Ginny…" the voice groaned frightfully. "Ginny…"

Ginny was too terrified to speak. The voice echoed around the seemingly empty hospital wing. The white beds shone in the blackness.

"Ginny…Ginny…" the spirit rasped. "Ginny… come to me… come to me…"

"Be gone you terrible phantom!" screamed Ginny in fear. "You ghastly marauder of the night! Be gone! Be gone!" She clutched the white sheets to herself in terror.

"Ginny… I'm coming… I'm coming…" moaned the horrible thing.

"Leave me in peace! By the power of Albus Dumbledore, I exorcise you!" shrieked Ginny in terror. She was about to wet the bed!

"Ginny…" the voice breathed heavily. "Ginny…" The voice seemed to be coming from somewhere near her. Ginny turned her head slowly to the right, dreading to see what it was. She wanted to look, yet she was deathly afraid to look. She looked.

It was a mummy! All the breath seemed to be forced out of Ginny's body. She was suffocating in the lightless room. The moon's brightness receded to the windowsill. The horror!

Ginny summoned up all her courage and asked, "Who are you?"

"Ginny… Ginny…" sighed the bandaged figure. Ginny frowned irritably at it.

"You can't be Ginny because I'm Ginny," she pointed out, "unless you have the same name, which I doubt. As far as I know, I should be the only Ginny in Hogwarts! What are you anyway?" Ginny crept out of bed, and tiptoed toward the still form, which continued to repeat her name in a horrible scraping voice. Ginny inched nearer until she was standing over the wrapped something. Ginny stared. It was Harry! Harry Potter! The Chosen One! And he was groaning her name.

"Oh Harry!" gasped Ginny with relief and happiness, "I'm sorry! I know now that it was my fault that you ended up here! I didn't know what I was thinking, but I remember everything now! I suppose it was amnesia! I can slightly recollect Peeves dropping that vase on my head, but everything is fine now! Really darling, do wake up!" Ginny shook Harry forcefully.

"Ow! That hurts!" cried Harry. He woke up with a start. Someone or something was standing over his bed. "Huh?"

"Harry! It's me! Ginny!" whispered Ginny joyfully. "I'm fine now! I remember everything! I'm so sorry darling, I love you!"

"In truth? —In the flesh? My living Ginny?" queried Harry. He couldn't see her face very clearly. For all she knew, she could be a ghoul or some frightful apparition. The thought made his hands run cold. Ginny seemed to know what he was thinking. She put her hand on his bandaged one.

"You touch me, chuck, --you hold me, and fast enough: I am not cold like a corpse, nor vacant like air, am I?" she pointed out. Harry's eyes adjusted to the darkness.

"My living darling! These are certainly her limbs, and these her features; but I cannot be so blest, after all my misery. It is a dream; such dreams as I have had at night when I have clasped her once more to my heart, as I do now; and kissed her, as thus—and felt that she loved me, and trusted that she would not leave me," exclaimed Harry.

"Which I never will, darling, from this day."

"Never will, says the vision? But I always woke and found it an empty mockery; and I was desolate and abandoned—my life dark, lonely, hopeless—my soul athirst and forbidden to drink—my heart famished and never to be fed. Gentle, soft dream, nestling in my arms now, you will fly, too, as your sisters have all fled before you: but kiss me before you go—embrace me, Ginny." Ginny leaned over and hugged Harry's paralyzed form tightly.

"There, love—and there!" Ginny kissed Harry's bruised face and clutched his battered body.

"It is you—is it, Ginny? You are come back to me then?"

"I am."

Harry was silent, ruminating.

"And you will stay with me?" Harry's hold on Ginny's had tightened, even though he was supposed to be paralyzed.

"Certainly—unless you object. I will be your neighbor, your nurse, and your housekeeper. I find you lonely: I will be your companion—to read to you, to walk with you, to sit with you, to wait on you, to be eyes and hands to you. Cease to look so melancholy, my dearest love; you shall not be left desolate, so long as I live." Ginny peered into his cold face. _Harry is silent,_ she thought. _Does he not love me anymore for what I have done to him? _She began to disengage his hand from his.

"No—no—Ginny; you must not go. No—I have touched you, heard you, felt the comfort of your presence—the sweetness of your consolation: I cannot give up these joys. I have little left in myself—I must have you. The world may laugh—may call me absurd, selfish—but it does not signify. My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame."

"Yes, Harry, I will stay with you: I have said so," consoled Ginny. Harry suddenly remembered something.

"Colin—you dated him?" asked Harry anxiously.

"Yes," replied Ginny simply. Harry continued to question her.

"Do you like him?"

"He was a very good boy, darling, I cannot help liking him."

"Is he feeble and weak?"

"He is brave and strong."

"Is he smart?"

"He's quite a wizard!"

"Did he have bad manners then?"

"No, he eats daintily."

"Then why'd you leave him?" exploded Harry. "Look at me—I am mangled and ugly! Go back to your Apollo because I am but a stinky Vulcan!" Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Your injury is temporary! Don't be so dramatic! Besides, you have nice eyes. So don't be jealous. I like you way better."

"Then will you be my girlfriend again?" asked Harry.

"Sure," said Ginny.

"Even though I'm paralyzed?"

"Yeah. Besides, you'll heal."

"Even though I'm a year older than you so when I'm 100 you'll only be 99?"

"Yes darling! Yes, yes yes!" erupted Ginny, with her heart swelling with gladness. Actually, she was getting tired of Harry's questioning. Dawn was breaking already. The moon had set.

"Ok, well now that's settled, I'm going back to sleep since you woke me up," said Harry peevishly. He closed his eyes.

"Ok. Me too. I'm kind of tired. Once you're out of here let's go to Hogsmeade."

"Fine." Ginny fell asleep next to Harry.

xx

Up in the boys' dormitories, Hermione was still talking to Ron.

"Don't feel bad Ron. You're not that unloved! Your family loves you!" consoled Hermione gently. Ron's face was buried in his hands and he sobbed harder.

"No one likes me! The school hates me! It takes a love potion just to make everyone love me!"

"You can't get everyone to love you," said Hermione reasonably.

"But everyone loves Harry!" wailed Ron.

"Not Lord Voldemort or the Death Eaters! And people only worship him! It's not really love!"

"I want to be worshipped!" cried Ron, "It's been horrible being the youngest boy! I have five older brothers to measure up to!"

"Don't compare yourself with them! Everyone's different," sighed Hermione. This had been going on the ENTIRE NIGHT! The sun was coming up. She was getting impatient now. Ron was really a loser. She wondered why she even bothered with him. Oh yea, that's because she liked him. Now she was wondering why she even liked him. His low self-esteem was making him repugnant to her. It was time to take drastic action. She stood up and faced Ron.

"Look Ron. Harry is your best friend. Stop being jealous of him ok? He has a hard life ahead of him! He might die soon! Enjoy his company! And I think you're good enough as you are! You don't need to be like Harry to impress me." Ron looked up at her, enlightened.

"I don't?" he asked.

_I'm starting to get second thoughts,_ thought Hermione, but her mouth said, "You don't. I like you the way you are! You're a great friend, and remember the time you ripped up Percy's letter about Harry and everything? You're loyal and brave! You sacrificed yourself in our first year during the chess game when Harry was looking for the Sorceror's Stone. You even went down with Harry to the Chamber of Secrets! I think you're the greatest!" exclaimed Hermione, but her mind was thinking, _Not. _

"Oh yeah! I did all that!" yelled Ron happily. "Thanks Hermione! Want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" Hermione blushed. She liked Ron again.

"Ok. Took you long enough to ask!" she yelled. "Now I'm going to bed because I was up the ENTIRE NIGHT trying to make you feel better! You need to get some sleep as well!"

"Right," said Ron, grinning at her. He lay down and rolled over. He was snoring in minutes. Hermione rolled her eyes at him and went down to the Common Room. However, she was extremely shocked by what she saw!

It was a hive of activity! The whole school seemed to be there. A huge banner stretched across the ceiling bearing the words, "Good morning King Weasley!" Balloons bobbed about. There were tables covered in delicious food. Hermione supposed it was Ron's breakfast. She groaned. She had forgotten about the love potion's effect on the school. In a corner, Colin, Miranda, Ophelia, and Juliet were bound and gagged. They sobbed through their bindings. Hermione could see why. Their Harry Potter shrine had been trampled and smashed. In place of it, loomed Ron's humongous head. It was smirking down upon the whole school, which wasjammed in the Common Room. The Common Room seemed to have been magically enlarged, no doubt by a teacher. Hermione could see the professors running about, directing students in the decorations and the set up. Suddenly, Lavender Brown spotted Hermione.

"Hermione!" she shrieked, "What were you doing in Ron's dormitory?"

_Uh oh,_ thought Hermione in panic.

"N-nothing," she stuttered. She was facing death! Her life wasn't supposed to end this way!

"The minute we turn our backs, someone sneaks up there into our darling's rooms!" hollered Seamus, his eyes bulging at Hermione.

"Yeah!" agreed Dean and Neville.

_Oh yeah,_ remembered Hermione, _they were setting up this Ron Weasley party! I was wondering why they didn't come up to bed!_

"You strumpet! You slut!" screamed Parvati Patil furiously. She burst into tears. "We were up the ENTIRE NIGHT planning this surprise for Ronnikins, and you ruined it all!"

"Hermione! I am shocked by your behavior! You know Hogwarts rules!" chastised Professor McGonagall. She pulled out her wand. "You will have to pay!"

"P-professor M-mc g-gonagall, don't I just get a detention or something?" pleaded Hermione in terror.

"A scarlet woman like you deserves worse than that!" yelled McGonagall with an angry glint in her eye. Hermione turned and bolted back up the stairs.

"Get her!" screamed Professor Flitwick in a high-pitched voice. Less than a second later, Hermione was bound and gagged and was sitting next to Colin and the other Harry-shipians.

"We'll figure out what to do with you," grinned Professor Slughorn malevolently, standing over the prisoners. He turned around and the rest of the school carried on with their decorations. However, he had underestimated Hermione, the greatest witch that the world had ever seen. She was still clutching her wand, and since she had mastered not having to say the spells out loud, she managed to get herself free. She turned to the other captives and set them free.

"Thanks Hermione," they whispered.

"You're welcome. I have to go now. There is something that I must do!" Hermione crept out of the Common Room. Everyone else was too busy to notice. The Harry-shipians followed her out. They headed to the Hospital Wing whereas Hermione headed to Professor Slughorn's office. It was time to brew an antidote.

A few minutes later, the antidote was ready. Hermione transfigured one of Slughorn's mead bottles into a very large spray-bottle thingy. She poured the huge batch of antidote into it. She was ready! Hermione set out toward the Common Room. But first, she decided to stop at the Hospital Wing.

xx

"Ginny you strumpet!" screamed Ophelia angrily. She was unbelievably angry at Ginny. They had caught Ginny sleeping right next to Harry! "Don't you remember our pact of friendship? That we would share this prince of all mankind?

"You whore!" ranted Miranda. "I turn my back and this is what you do! Oh Ginny! Our friendship ends today! You are my rival in love!"

"She has already won," sighed Colin sadly. "My girlfriend and my idol—in the same bed! Oh misery! I would die today if I could."

"Don't say that!" yelled Juliet. "Let's just get our revenge right now!"

"I can't do that," grieved Colin. "I shall go into this corner right here and mourn over my lost paradise." Colin retreated into a dismal corner of the Hospital Wing. The three girls raised their wands against Ginny, who cowered on the bed. Harry was still asleep.

"Don't! This isn't what it looks like! I was just really tired!" she screamed.

"Is that what it is? Well too bad!" screamed Miranda viciously. All three girls simultaneously opened their mouths to say an incantation when Hermione suddenly appeared next to them.

"Take this!" she screamed, and she sprayed all three in the face.

"Wha--?" For a moment, the girls seemed bewildered and lost. Then, their faces snapped back into their usual expressions. They sank to the ground.

"Ginny, I'm so sorry! I didn't know what I was thinking!" yelled Miranda repentantly.

"Yeah, I really don't know what came over me!" pleaded Juliet.

"I hope we can be friends again," cried Ophelia.

"That's alright. I forgive you," smiled Ginny.

"You should probably take some of this," said Hermione. She sprayed some of the antidote on Ginny's face. Nothing really changed much. Colin observed this scene from his corner.

"You three would give up your love for friendship?" asked Colin with a strange expression upon his face. "Perhaps I should follow your example. You three truly are angels of purity!"

"Um… yeah," replied Miranda. She didn't really mind. Harry could jump off a cliff for all she cared, but only after he killed You-Know-Who. Colin turned to Ginny.

"My love, I will always love you and Harry. But if you're happy with Harry, then I shall be happy too. Nothing makes me more joyful than to see the ones I love the most exultant."

Ginny smiled at Colin. "I'm glad you see it that way. You really are a great guy. Maybe you can hook up with one of my friends sometime!" Hermione smiled at how they resolved themselves. She continued on her way to the Gryffindor Common Room. However, Peeves ambushed her along the way.

"Is that more of darling Hermy's perfume from Wonnikins?" mocked Peeves. He swooped down and grabbed it from her. Hermione did not resist much. This would probably make her job A LOT easier, because if she sprayed everyone herself, some people might resist. She would probably get killed before everyone got cured.

"Peeves!" sobbed Hermione, but not really. "Don't! Don't spray it on everyone in the Gryffindor Common Room! It'll cause them all to go crazy!"

"Too bad!" cackled Peeves madly. He blew a raspberry at her and zoomed through a couple of walls to the Common Room. After he left, Hermione grinned to herself. She decided to walk slowly.

xx

"We're done!" shouted Professor McGonagall, "Now everyone! Hide somewhere! King Weasley may wake up any moment now and come downstairs. When we see him, everyone jump out and surprise him! Remember to yell, 'Good Morning!'"

Just then, Peeves zoomed in.

"Oh no you don't!" yelled McGonagall. "I'm not going to let you ruin this party! Out! Out!"

Peeves grinned down at her and turned over on his head in midair. He stuck his tongue out and began to spray…

Everyone inhaled a drop of the antidote. For a brief moment, they seemed bewildered. Then, their faces snapped back.

"What in the world are we doing?" squeaked Professor Flitwick.

"I think we just suffered from the effects of a love potion!" cried Slughorn, "But who?"

"Obviously, it was Peeves," glared McGonagall furiously. "Remember when we were in the Great Hall, he came in and sprayed everyone in a similar fashion? He won't get away with this!" McGonagall's ears burned with fury. She remembered how she had made a total fool of herself! Peeves would not get away with this!

The rest of the school who were listening seemed to have a similar thought. Peeves was doomed.

_Uh oh_, though Peeves for the first time in his life. This was probably how Nearly Headless Nick felt when he met the Basilisk. The entire school was glaring beadily at him. He felt as though he were about to burst in flames, and he decided to make a hasty retreat. With a final blasphemous raspberry, Peeves zoomed out of the common room. With a giant war cry, the whole school followed. Once again, the Common Room sported a huge hole. No one had bothered opening the portrait hole.

xx

Hermione smiled as she watched the whole school stampede by. It seemed this business was over. She would be looking forward to her date with Ron soon. Finally, everything was fine again. Today would be a lovely day.

The End

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I stole that scene between Harry and Ginny from Jane Eyre in case you haven't noticed:) Anyway, I'm finished with this fic! Please read and review, and tell me what you think!


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